


Up to No Good

by Koniro_Yotsuyu



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Multi, Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-27
Updated: 2015-12-17
Packaged: 2018-02-14 23:27:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 24,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2207058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Koniro_Yotsuyu/pseuds/Koniro_Yotsuyu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A mysterious plague takes over Hogwarts and the Marauders are particularly sensitive to it's effects, Remus Lupin is loosing control and gets help to regain it from some unexpected hands... Sirius is very grumpy and James comes onto Lily Evans more than ever. A love triangle and lots of fluff to come.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello my friends, Im posting an old work a friend of mine was supposed to edit but still hasn't, a lot of typos and mistakes to come, probably, since this is very, very beta. Comments and Reviews appreciated n.n

It was the year 1977[1] and the marauders were having trouble keeping up with the heat of the very sunny first day of the spring, it seemed that no amount of cooling charms could make it bearable, they started to cast ice and aquamenti charms instead, but even those didn’t seem to be enough,  possibly the entire class was in the dungeons, they were dark and scary but they were the coolest part of the school, until, well, all the people got there, the marauders were instead, in one of the halls, right next to the Slytherin common room, trying to get as much skin in contact with the cold marble as possible.

“Ah fuck! im sweating like a pig!” barked Sirius, ever so classy.

“Ugh, we are going to die in here!” James was quick to follow.

“stop complaining boys, you are burning calories uselessly” I suggested.

“oh please moony, not all of us need those calories so desperately, just look at wormtail over there. ”

He did have a point, the boy looked like he was about to die, and he was sweating like crazy, not even sparing enough oxygen to answer him, then again, he never really answered to Padfoot when he said something rude or mean about him.

“Tho it doesn’t make a lot of sense for it to be this hot, it’s the hottest day ive ever been alive to witness and its not even summer”

“Huh, I didn’t think about it, but you are right James, it is strange that this happens in spring, well some muggles believe that the earth is becoming progressively hotter because of pol-ution, I think I pronounced that right”

“so what? They are muggles, what do they know?”

“please, Sirius, muggles found out a lot of things wizards wont even guess, you are a Black so you didn’t get to see it, but not all families are so disgusted of muggles, you could check out some of the things they came up with, if only to make your parents angry”

With what I said,  Padfoot’s face twisted into a mischievous simrk “well will you be my guide? They will be even angrier if they find out im going with you”

“right, why not, you’ll make a fool of yourself if I don’t”

“Perfect” he almost purred and put his arm around m shoulder “so we have a date?”

“get off me, its hot and you stink” I scowled, but laughed nonetheless

“always so sweet darling” he put his arm away but continued to wear that satisfied smile

I was about to answer to his joke flirting when the headmaster’s voice rang along the whole school, that was a very usefull spell

_“all first year students gather in front of the infirmary, in addition, the students: James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, are required to come to the Headmaster’s Office”_

James and Sirius just started to chuckle “I love that spell, it make the whole school aware of our mischief.”

I just sighed and got on my feet, without looking back at any of them, they knew I was not very fond of these little moments, when we would lose House Points and get in detentions. After all the trouble they were going through so I could have a normal school life in spite of being a werewolf, the last thing I wanted is to cause more. I felt Padfoot’s hand on my back but didn’t turn around. Even if I did stick around when they were causing trouble, most of the time I stood back and didn’t get involved, sure, it was fun, and when I partook in their ideas, it wasn’t really dangerous or problematic to the school, I didn’t have a lot of trouble myself, when I was involved, we never got caught, so I knew exactly which incident we were being called out for. It made my stomach twist and my heart sink, this had gone too far, it had been too risky and the headmaster could expel us all, and even if he didn’t he would probably decide I was too dangerous to have walking around in this school, I felt like I was going to pass out.

“Moony, wait!” this time he grabbed me by the wrist

“That is very sensitive of you, to call me Moony at a time like this!”

“Remus, im sorry” Oh, he was doing that thing with the eyes, but this time it wasn’t going to work, no puppy eyes could calm me down, not even those eyes.

“You better be, I… I don’t even know what to tell you, you go through the trouble of becoming animagi just to keep me company and then you go and make me attack a classmate”

“But it was _Snivellus_!”

“But it was _me_! Do you have any idea of all the things that could have gone wrong? And all the consequences this might have? Sirius, what if I killed him?” I took a breath so my eyes wouldn’t get any wetter and just turned around, yanking my arm away and I almost ran towards the Headmaster’s office, before I could hurt someone else, this time because of my own temper.

~*~

We were all standing in the Headmaster’s office, I was not looking at anyone, instead I was staring at the ground and I could feel Padfoot’s and Prong’s eyes on me, I didn’t look back, I was still angry at them and I had all the right to be.

“thank you for coming, first of all, I want to let you know that what we will be discussing here is going to be announced to the whole school aswell, in its proper time, but I found it better to gather the four of you here and explain the situation to you first.”

Wait, he was going to let everybody know? This day only got better and better.

“However, don’t worry; your respective conditions will continue to remain a secret, especially yours, Remus.” Oh, ok, so then he was going to say there was a werewolf in the school? It wouldn’t say who it was? But everyone would find out in the blink of an eye, he always disappeared around the full moon.

“you see, lately, there has been an infestation of an unknown species of weeds around Scotland, we have spotted it in the school as well, and we don’t know how to stop it or what its effects are. The most prominent names in Herbology are working to give this a solution, so far, all we know is that it pollinates, and its pollen has some poisonous effects, its is also known to affect animals and other creatures more strongly than it affects regular humans. It seems to affect them in a hormonal level, I will ask you to please go meet with Madam Pompfrey in two hours, she will see you before going on to the second years, you see, there has been an antidote discovered, and even tho its effects are not entirely effective, it should help.”

I couldn’t hold back the tremendous sigh of relief it inspired me to hear that, so this was about a plague, they probably called us since being animagi and a werewolf, the effects would probably be stronger on us, nobody seemed to react to that, and that was just fine, shortly after we were dismissed, I still felt like my head was filled with cotton when we walked around the halls towards the spot where we were before.

“remus?” James asked after a minute

“Yeah, sorry, I was scared, and maybe they would expel me, I don’t know why Snape didn’t say anything, probably because he would have to admit he was there after curfew too”

“but you are right to be angry” Sirius wrapped his arm around me again.

“Yes, I am, and why do you keep doing that?”

“Im sorry.” Well I did not expect that, It was not like him  to apologize, I don’t know for exactly how long we just stood like that looking at eachother’s eyes, he was not doing the puppy eyes now, instead he looked serious and… ashamed… after what could have been a second or a minute I looked away

“It’s alright, I know you are all Idiots, that hasn’t kept me from hanging around you lot before.” I started to walk again, noticing both Jaes and Peter had also been petrified when Sirius said that “but really, I get the bold Gryffindor thing but at least try to consider the consequences next time, you know I never stop you from doing anything and im the Prefect, that is exactly what I got chosen to do.”

 

* * *

 

[1] This is supposed to take place a few weeks after the prank James and Sirius pulled on Snape, most people believe it happened in their sixth year and I just think I can write what will happen later knowing that they are younger than 16, it would feel pervish, even though I’m only 17 myself, anyways, this is their sixth year, they are all 16 and in the last full moon, shit went down.


	2. Chapter 2

The last few days at Hogwarts had been hell, everyone seemed to be out of control and the antidote didn’t seem to be doing anything at all, the marauders were particularly aggressive and out of control, me and Peter were more down to earth so we didn’t cause a lot of trouble, I suspected it also had something to do with the fact that being a werewolf the effects weren’t as strong as with the rest of the marauders, even if they were still stronger than with regular humans.. Apparently Dumbledore had forgotten to mention that the symptoms included an increased irritability and sex drive. So I had to spend all of these days helping to get James away from Lily Potter and Sirius from literally anyone he came across except for the Slytherin boys. And that was nothing when you considered how angry those two got, they were out of control, they picked fights _everywhere_ , and let’s not even mention Snape, even just looking at him made them try to run over there and punch or hex him.

It was driving me crazy and every day it was more and more difficult to keep myself under control, it had started to become physically painful because unlike Peter, who took care of himself in closed doors, and who was used to holding back anger by now, I had never been particularly libidinous or irritable, so now I didn’t know how to control myself, the weeds were reproducing disturbingly fast and I felt I was about to lose my mind. Luckily, I got help before that happened, help from some… unexpected hands.

It turns out Severus Snape had talked to the Headmaster and told him he was afraid I was getting out of control and he knew I was a werewolf. He agreed to his idea of letting him take care of me. The headmaster had said the effects varied from person to person so that night in the great hall, he announced students would be allowed to skip classes and the option of applying to help the students who were having more trouble dealing with it. It had apparently all been Snape’s idea, or that is what he told me when he showed up in front of me in one of the halls and immobilized both Sirius and James so he could talk to me.

I had no idea what he was on about but I was going to go crazy if I didn’t do something about it so all I could do was nod and follow him to the library.

“So, how are you exactly going to help me and why are you doing it?”

He seemed to ignore the question and continue to look for some books, running his slender fingers around some of the titles, I was about to repeat my question in case he hadn’t heard it when he spoke again “You see, this weeds are reproducing fast, im afraid in a few days they are going to make it more difficult for all of us, especially for you and your… friends, I don’t think you will be having a nice time. That and I wonder what will happen when we get close to the full moon” he seemed to give me a look but then quickly look away.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone about…”

“You? Your friends’ little prank? Because the worst thing they would do to you is take points away and give you detention. No matter what you do, he won’t give you any consequences, he chose _you_ as a Prefect for Merlin’s sake.”

“g-good point but-”

“you worry too much, he won’t kick you out of here, he has a soft spot for the supposed underdogs and for dangerous people”

I flinched at that but decided I wasn’t going to argue, not today, not with someone who was supposedly going to help me, especially because… He was right.

“But why would you care? I thought you hated all of us”

“And I do, but I can recognize danger when I see it. That and… I am a Slytherin you know? I am supposed to see situations and try to work them to my advantage, and this just might be a unique opportunity”

“Im sorry?” Did he just flat out say that?

He sighed “Listen Lupin, I’ve seen how you behave around them, you are too cunning to be around those fools, If you weren’t around they wouldn’t have managed to get away with half the things they did, removing you from the equation, especially in this situation would make their lives a living hell. Besides, you are the only one of the four I could stand having around and are definetly the one who would bother them the most to see around me.”

“So you are just trying to get back at them”

“Correct”

“Then why give me a free pass? No matter how good you plan was… I was the one who attacked you was I not? Wouldn’t you want my head on a plate more than the other three?”

He shook his head, something that resembled a knowing smile appeared on his face “Even If you were I reckon you were the only person who got wronged as much or even more than me that night, and I know you are aware of this too, Sirius did it, Potter was aware of it, and I reckon Pettigrew might be aware of it too, but I don’t believe you would have left them go through with something like that.”

“Wow you are good” I couldn’t suppress a chuckle at that “But you did say I would be away from them?”

“Oh, the program I presented to the headmaster included getting a separate common room and paired separated rooms for each pair of affected people and volunteers”

“And he agreed to that?”

“I might have insinuated I could tell people about your situation, that and the school is going insane, that man would do anything before closing it or suspending activities.” He gave me a mischievous gaze with those dark eyes of his.

“Well… Wow I had forgotten how terrifying the people of your house could be”

“Right. You know you don’t have any choice on the matter right Lupin?”he said as he gave me a dangerous look

“huh? Oh yeah, I wasn’t planning on denying myself, to be honest, this is amazing for me, those two were driving me crazy, and im sure someone else is going to take care of them. And… I am scared of the full moon as well” I admitted  
“Oh, I didn’t expect that reaction, but great, it makes things easier for me, you should go pack your things, tomorrow the third floor will be ready for us to move there”

“Um, ok, but please lets not call each other by our last names, its terribly awkward and if we are going to share a room it will only be more so”

He rose an eyebrow at what I had said “And why should I agree to that?”

A smile crept over my lips “Because James and Sirius will be rabid when they hear us calling each other by our first names”

He grinned as well “Definetly too cunning to be around them, very well, Remus, I’ll see you tomorrow in the third floor.”

“See you there, Severus”

~*~

“Bollocks!” Padfoot was attacking his food more than eating it “He is up to something; you don’t have to do this.”

“Padfoot, there is no way around it, he might tell everyone, If it wasn’t for that I wouldn’t be doing this but he knows there is nothing I can do about _that_.”

“We could talk to the Headmaster” suggested Prongs

“He already gave him thumbs up to do all this.”

“Stupid Snivellus, don’t worry Moony, well get him for this”

That was more than enough, and I was getting more irritable by the second, I stood up and almost screamed at him, the whole Gryffindor table must have heard me and the others definitely saw me “No! Don’t get back at _anyone_! You are only making things worse! This wouldn’t be happening had it not been for _your_ great Idea Padfoot, so please, pull your head out of your ass for a minute and stop getting involved. im fed up with your rebel Gryffindor savior act, all of you! Stop acting like you give a damn because you don’t and if you even think you can pull the transformation card you are awfully wrong! You did that for the thrills, you did it because breaking another rule was just too much fun! I know you don’t care, and someone like me probably doesn’t even deserve it, but if this is you caring, I’d rather have you pretend I don’t exist thank you very much.” And with that I left, again, before I punched someone. As I left I spotted many shocked Gryffindor faces, along with the four of my friends, and a Slytherin grinning at me as if Christmas had come early, of course a display like that would put Severus Snape in a good mood.

~*~

The third floor looked entirely different, one wouldn’t have expected a change like this to happen in a single day, but the new rooms were spectacular, they were decorated in purple and had an amazing common room, it was bigger than the other ones, but that probably was a way to make up for the smaller rooms, it was really amazing.

The separated rooms were very small, they didn’t feel too small, but there was barely room for the two beds and some free corridors inside, it felt comfortable, and the ones with windows had huge ones. I got the chance to pick first so I got one of those, It was amazing, being able to go to sleep looking at the sky… looking at the moon. I really liked the moon, It felt like a love-hate relationship for me, because I loved her every night, except when it was full, I liked to say the moon was my first love, but it really was not, that would have to be Sirius, In fact, if it wasn’t for that crush I wouldn’t have gotten close to the marauders, but then, it was one massive, silly crush, I had taken amortentia before and it felt awfully similar, the difference was that, with Sirius I was happy just being close to him, I didn’t even fancy him liking me back. Looking back It was probably because no matter how mad I was about him, I knew who Sirius was, he is a tramp and I wouldn’t like him any other way, which is probably the reason why I eventually got back to the ground and realized how stupid it had been to spare it any thought, he was, after all, Sirius Black. Then again, when you are 10 years old, you don’t really have the knowledge in love to realize when you are falling for a tremendous idiot. But he was a likable one, I don’t regret liking him… too much, probably the whole school had a crush on him at one point or another. But that was six years ago and with how things had gone, I was baffled I could have ever liked him in the first place.

“Enjoying the view?”

“Oh, Severus, I didn’t hear you come in”

“Considering you have particularly sharp senses, you must have been really distracted not to notice.” He paused for a minute and licked his lips “Is this about what happened in the Great Hall?”

“Huh? Oh” I laughed “no, not at all, to be honest, I was giving them a hard time, lately Ive had those moments when I get terribly angry at them and then I realize im overreacting, but I didn’t stop because.. they really deserve to feel bad for that, they never regret anything they do but if they don’t see how much that hurt me, they will keep on acting like that without realizing how they can hurt the people around them.”

“huh, didn’t think you had it in you?”

“had what in me?”

“Well I knew you were clever, and I knew you were those buffoons’ only connection to reality, but I didn’t expect you to… notice, those things, unless you just changed your mind recently”

“oh, no im just fed up with it by now. I know they don’t do it because they are bad people and that the last thing they want to do is hurt anyone, but they can be so… dense and…” I paused, trying to find the right word “self-indulgent, they really don’t understand how they affect other people, and I don’t think they try. That’s why Evans stays away from James, why wouldn’t she? And I keep trying to tell him that she is a nice girl and will never stay close to someone who doesn’t have a certain level of consideration, but then he decides that ‘oh! Im going to bully her closest friend, that’s how I’ll get her to notice me!’ Its unbelievable” I realized too late who I was talking to, but for some reason he didn’t seem to mind that comment, he was actually smiling wider now

“You don’t stop him when he does” he tilted his head

“I tried and failed before, besides, every prank is one inch deeper in the pit and one step further away from her, and it won’t be long until he realizes he is messing it up big time, or she hexes him with something very nasty, and if she does he will definitely have it coming, he is ridiculing himself more than he Is ridiculing you when he does all that.”

“Oh is he?” now that grin had turned dangerous, I wasn’t sure if I should back off and shut my mouth or not, but trying to lie to a Slytherin was probably a very bad idea

“But you know, he doesn’t do it because he is a bad guy, he just… doesn’t know how to get her attention, that and he thinks you are the source of all evil and you are a slimy Slytherin and all that, ha ha. You know, people always say im mature for my age, but I thought he would stop that somewhere around fourth year, one thing is beign a little boy trying to get a girl to notice you but next year he will be an adult, I guess I just laid back too much, and assumed eventually those two would come to their senses, but they didn’t”

“Wait you are taking the blame?” he seemed shocked at that, his smile had disappeared

“Well, a little? I am the bloke who stood behind watching them act like tools several times, what kind of friend wouldn’t interfere?”

He started to laugh bitterly “so they walk around pranking and hexing people and you are the one who feels bad about it?”

“Why the sudden change of heart? I thought you hated me and Peter too?”

“I merely dislike you two, but I didn’t expect… well I had the mindset that the four of you were arrogant buffoons, maybe Pettigrew wasn’t but being an insecure henchman wasn’t any better, I didn’t expect you to be aware of all this.”

I sighed and slapped my forehead “How can anyone _not_ be aware of it?”

“Then why do you stick around?”

He couldn’t be seriously asking that “Well, I don’t know if you know this concept, but they are my _friends_. They stood beside me and when they found out about my condition they became animagi to keep me company. How can I back down on the people who did that for me Severus? They aren’t bad guys they are just… childish that’s all.”

His face seemed to go more serious and he moved to sit on the bed next to me, I thought he was going to say something but then he just grabbed my hand. The next thing I knew my head was resting on his shoulder and then he was holding me in his arms, I felt like I was about to cry, but I never manage it, my eyes always get wet but then nothing actually happens. What did happen, was that I started to kiss his neck, it was so close and it felt so accessible and… tempting, and I wasn’t really thinking straight, I felt vulnerable and he seemed to genuinely want to comfort me, I perceived his scent and it resembled so much to what I thought amortentia smelt like, his whole body was rising up and down with his breathing and he was so warm… the pollen probably had something to do with it, and it must have had something to do with what happened next.

He pushed me away and for a second I thought he might try to punch me, but then he pushed even harder and pinned me down on the bed. He looked at me as if he was not really sure what to do either, he stared at me with dilated pupils, so he was apparently considering the idea of punching me as well, but luckily, he did not, what he did do, however, was grabbing me by the hair and kissing me roughly, teeth clashing against teeth, I could sense the taste of blood and it probably was from my chapped lips that he was attacking so eagerly, this was probably his first kiss, not that I had a lot more experience but he was doing some things no one who had done it before would do, like using his teeth so much or doing some strange things with his tongue, but the kiss felt, really great, it felt sincere, and desperate, and I moved my hands up to grab his hair, I was surprised, it didn’t felt greasy, it was a little wet, so maybe he had a constant moisturizer spell? He was very pale, so maybe he had sensitive skin and it helped with the pain in his scalp? He did keep his hair long to his shoulders and he had a lot of hair. Lupin, get a hold of yourself; this is not the time to be thinking about the boy’s hair, you should be focusing on the lips.

He broke the kiss and panted against my neck, I laughed and held him in my arms “well that was nice”

“Shut up.”

“It was, though if I were you I wouldn’t use my teeth so much. And then a werewolf is telling you you bite too much, you better listen” I kept laughing, this time he did punch me, but not too hard.

“Cocky bastard”

“No I mean It, it was great, lets do it again”

He laughed alongside me at that and pecked my lips “not today” and sat back down on the bed

“aww but you are supposed to be taking care of me”

He went back to his cold Snape persona “I don’t see what that has to do with anything”

“well, if I say im really really horny, which is one of the effects of the pollen, how will you help me with that?”

“Who said you need assistance?”

“Who said _you_ don’t?” I was getting cocky, but that’s what being a marauder did to people, I grabbed him by the shoulders and sat down aswell, starting to kiss along his jawline and neck again “the pollen is also affecting you after all”

What I did not expect, was being grabbed by the hair and pulled down to kneel in front of his crotch, the other smirked “If you insist”

That was a bluff, it had to be, the guy had only ever kissed someone before. I nuzzled his crotch a little and then rest my head against his thigh. He was definitely not backing down, but it was obvious in his face he was not ready for this, so I moved up to press a kiss on his cheek instead.

“Don’t worry, there will be time for that” he seemingly relaxed at that and we spent the net hour and a half cuddling on my bed like two massive dorks, It was nice, Severus felt surprisingly warm, I really didn’t expect him to be, then again I never disliked him like the other guys did, the more I thought about it, the less strange it seemed for me to have that kind of conection with him, he was intelligent, he was quiet and he was… pleasant to be around, I could see myself having a lot of conversations with him, I could see myself working in pairs and studying with him, I could see myself hanging out with him. It all felt very natural, as if there wasn’t some weird magical pollen involved in the whole thing.


	3. Chapter 3

During the last few days, the pollen got worse, and James had gotten himself a helper, really because he was simply expecting lily evans to be his volunteer, she wasn’t but I thank all heavens for that bold Hufflepuff who took him in, everyone sort of, avoided him lately, and Sirius was rabid, he wasn’t even flirting anymore, he looked dangerous, and I wasn’t the only one who was worried about him, I suppose that beign the only carnivore other than me he probably got particularly aggressive under the effects of the pollen, that and I was still seeing Severus, we studied together and hanged around together, I wasn’t avoiding them entirely, we did spend some time together, at least an hour every day without counting classes, that they were mostly skipping in their entirety.

They did go to potions that day.

Slughorn had told us that this class was going to be terribly important for our exams, so we should really be there. It turns out we were going to be making felix felicis, definitely too complex for our sixth year, but then he mentioned we would be working in teams and whoever made the best potion was going to have the insane advantage of being allowed to taking this potion before the potions final. That was incredible, I am not sure it was even legal, then again, a 16 year old who can make felix felicis definitely deserves an O in potions.

Not that I wasn’t aware that he was simply looking for members to bring to his slug club, I had declined in fourth year and kept asking me all the time, I wasn’t particularly good with potions, in fact to me it was a nightmare, but that doesn’t mean I had trouble passing it, I just happened to really hate the subject in itself, looking back it was probably watching as all those precious ingredients got wasted into disastrous potions, and having the pressure to get it right for that same reason. The boys joked a lot when I spoke about my distress with potions, saying that my worse is really way better than most people’s best, but that didn’t keep me from hating every single class, and Slughorn didn’t help.

As expected, about five people asked me to be their partners, surprisingly, Sirius didn’t, that was considerate of him, he probably knew he wasn’t going to manage it anyways, James was asking me, and some other people from both Slytherin and Gryffindor[1] asked me, I looked around looking for help and I definitely did not expect to see Severus Snape, just picking the ingredients up, smiling at me as if there was no doubt I was going to pick him.

And I did, everyone knows he is brilliant in potions, he probably doesn’t even need the felix felicis and just wants to prove himself. I didn’t know why he would choose me if that was his objective.

“Do you mind it if I use a silver cauldron?”

“what? Why? Its supposed to be copper”

“Yes, but Silver is a much less efficient heat trespasser, If we use copper or iron, we are definitely going to burn it, the fire is the trickiest part of the potion”

“huh, good point” It was also known he altered potions to make them better, and I could  see that train of thought, it made an awful lot of sense, using copper really wasn’t a great idea, it probably had to do with how fast it would get cold afterwards, but “we should let it rest in a copper cauldron afterwards”

“Why?” he arched an eyebrow, seemingly impressed with that suggestion but at the same time giving a daring look, he was testing me

“Because they probably made it in copper so they could let it rest in it, passing potions from a cauldron to the other is definitely troublesome”

“so they rather struggle with the fire than risk ruining the temperature change from the original one, so how can we fix that?”

“I know a charm to intertwine things from one place to the other, so if we heat up some water in the copper cauldron, I can do it and then change the water to the silver cauldron and the potion to the copper one”

“that sounds like something intricate”

“I know but, I think I might get it right and Snape, im a marauder, do you think I haven’t used this one before?”

He chuckled at that and went to get the cauldrons but then he stopped “wait, you are really ok with using a silver cauldron?”

I rolled my eyes at that “All cauldrons burn, Severus, and there is two of us so I don’t have to touch it”

He seemed to relax at that “Right”

After that we started to work, the first thing we had to do was heating up the rose oil and putting in the dragon scales, that was the trickiest part of the potion, because the oil could burn really easily but the scales would take ages to be anything close to done, so I suggested a heating charm and then once the charm had faded away, we should put them in the rose oil. Once again, I could see Severus smiling at me, and this was actually a lot of fun, since he was around, I wasn’t nervous, the potion was going to be good, and we were even improving it, this was the best potions class I had had.

We continued like this for a while, felix felicis had 19 ingredients, many had already given up, our potion, however, was fitting the description of how it should look more than the pictures in the book, then I did the place switching charm, the face that everyone, especially Severus made, was precious, I couldn’t help to feel a little snob about it, it really was a complex spell, but I had a lot of practice with it, I loved complex charms.

“can you get that thing away from my sight? We don’t need it anymore” I threw a cooling charm on it so he could grab it, It had started to make me nervous around the middle of the potions, he probably noticed.

He got rid of it as I started to clean up “wow, that looks perfect, I could kiss you right now” That wasn’t something I could have pictured him saying, then again, James and Sirius were watching, he was probably going to keep up the shameless, not very Severus, flirting, simply because he knew it would piss them off.

Nevertheless, I returned his smile and teased him “then why don’t you do it?”

“Because first, Slughorn has to say it’s perfect”

The professor started to look at every cauldron, giving some nods of approval and fearfully avoiding some of them. When he got to ours his face lit up “oh merlin”

Again, I couldn’t help it to feel a bit snob, I knew it was mostly Severus’ doing, but just having a part on it felt amazing.

“Of course it was going to be perfect, it’s the dream team” someone commented behind me, and I was probably glowing at that point. Lily was the best at potions in my house, though that maybe was because she always paired up with Severus, and because she studied, when she was on her own I never saw any altered recipes, and her Os were really generous, she was good, she was very good, but next to Snape, everyone would be ashamed of themselves.

“That, It is, I have seen the two of you altering the potion, and I even saw you performing some rather tricky charms Lupin”

I was probably blushing madly “Thanks professor”

“yes, definitely a tremendous effort of the both of you, 25 points to both Slytherin and Gryffindor, It will be a matter of seeing how well this potion rests, If everything goes alright, you will have your potion in the finals”

 ~*~

“So do I get a kiss now?” I asked Severus when we got out of the classroom

“You are still on about that?” it really wasn’t a question

“Is there something wrong with that?”

“Um.. no, I just don’t think you would want that to happen in the halls with so many people watching”

“Why? I never really minded the gossip”

“oh, well I wasn’t really thinking about that, the pollen is making everyone be with everyone, but I was thinking you might not want to upset the people in your house, ironically, im sure the people in my house wouldn’t mind it so much”

“you are talking about the marauders aren’t you? Well hell if I care” I grabbed him by his tie “Im a Gryffindor im not supposed to stop doing things because im worried about what everyone will think, besides… they’ll get over it” and with that pressed a soft kiss to his lip, pulling him closer by his tie and when I noticed he relaxed I let go of the tie  and moved my hand to stroke his hair, I could feel about ten pairs of eyes just, staring at me, and I was sure that along those then there were James Sirius and Pete, but I ignored it, I ignored the catcalls too. That kiss was the kind of kiss you see in romantic movies, definitely not the kind of kiss I would expect from Severus, but I was pleasantly surprised, it was soft, no teeth, and almost no tongue, almost, it seemed as though he had taken my advice at heart. I realized I was holding his hand and our fingers intertwined, the other hand still on his hair, and his free hand was holding my neck, I could feel his nails scratching my skin, it really drove me crazy. When the kiss finally broke we were both blushing madly and we just left, avoiding looking at anyone.

 

* * *

 

[1] We were in a paired class


	4. Chapter 4

“Fucking hell! That was disgusting, im going to punch that motherfucker” Sirius was having a particularly foul mouth today.

“I know and, to see his hands touch that greasy hair!”

“Yes! Goddamnit, I think Moony developed Stockholm syndrome”

“Fucking Snivellus, I bet he cursed him or gave him a love potion”

“And with that pollen its probably worse, poor Remus.”

“He is obviously messing with us”

“But those two are always hanging around each other! Its definitely some sort of trick, how can someone be so close to someone like Snivellus”

“even the people who stand his presence wouldn’t touch him with a 5 meters long pole”

“That’s right, he is one ugly motherfucker”

“Definetly”

“Oh, and this is Remus we are talking about, he can do so much better!”

“I know right? We need to get him a girlfriend”

“Fuck Yes, we could even audition people”

“that would be hilarious”

“you know, I feel bad now, because he always acted all quiet, I assumed he wouldn’t be Interested in dating, but maybe he was just desperately shy, I should have taken him under my Casanova wing”

“I don’t think he would have appreciated to be under your Casanova wing, For some reason he is always the one giving dating advices, and he did date a few girls”

“Maybe he is gay”[1]

“huh?”

“Well they were all girls and they always broke up because he just didn’t seem interested”

“oh, maybe he likes blokes, that’s why he is so shy… Wait, maybe he dated guys before?”

“But why would it be such a big deal? I don’t think he wouldn’t tell us. After that other secret we found out about, I don’t think being gay would make a big difference[2] and even if it did, Its not like I haven’t smooched my fair share of dudes before”

“um… Maybe he likes someone we know, maybe one of us? And he was embarrassed of saying it?”

“Nah it doesn’t look like Remus, He probably just didn’t want to have that conversation”

  
“hm, then what should we do?”

“I say we find him a boyfriend”

“but what kind of person could make Lupin any interested in him? Remember when that half veella asked him to prom and he was just like, ‘um, nope, everyone Is going to want to go with you and I don’t fancy having them getting back at me’ he basically told her she wasn’t worth it straight to her face”

“Yeah but to be fair it was three days after the full moon, its understandable that he would be in a bad mood, also she was a girl”

“Ok then What about the durmstrang boy who gave him a love letter?”

“Fuck I had forgotten about that one”

“Exactly and I may not like blokes, but come on, that dude was-”

“Fucking gorgeous? Yeah he was, I don’t know why he rejected him, but he was much nicer to him than the veella”

“yeah but still, he ended up going on his own when possibly the two most wanted people in the castle invited him”

“And he didn’t even seem to mind!”

“I know! I think no one was having as much fun as he was”

“but he rejected those two hotties and then said yes to someone like Snivellus, its insane”

“Oh fuck, maybe he is blackmailing him?”

“I hadn’t thought about that but, damn, of course! That explains it!”

“I mean, that slimy Slytherin knows his secret, he is probably trying to take revenge with him.”

“What a little shit! We should do something!”

“but what _can_ we do? Remus said he didn’t want us getting involved, and maybe we got it wrong and he is being brainwashed after all”

“Well I think the answer Is pretty clear, we wait till those two aren’t together and we give Snivellus what he deserves, and then we tell him we do it for Lupin and he better stops messign with him”

“Sounds like a plan”

 

 

* * *

[1] Actually my headcanon is that he is demisexual, just putting it out there, James and Pete are straight, so is Lily and Sirius is bi, Snape is Pansexual but i don’t think it really matters because the only person in his head is Lily

[2] Im following the idea that Homosexuality and race aren’t big factors for wizard discrimination, since jk avoided talking about it, and all common sources of discrimination had their own metaphor(magical blood being race, the domestic elves being slavery, lycanthropy being AIDS, blood traition being interracial relationships etc)


	5. Chapter 5

“Oh hell no! you fucking didn’t!” Could they ever get any more childish?

“Expeliarmus!” I yelled and got the three wands on my hand “I can’t believe you guys keep doing this!”

I turned to Severus, he was hanging upside down, his face was full of blisters, that had to be painful, and they seemed to have thrown him some sort of crying charm, oh, because Snivellus, Damn, that was mean, they messed with him a lot but… Damn, what had gotten to them?

“I can’t believe this, you are supposed to be the good guys, you are supposed to… Guys you will be adults in a few months! And you go around cursing people in front of first years” I turned to the younger students, not all of them first years, but definitely younger “You should be setting an example, a positive one! I… I don’t know what to say…” I frowned “No wait I do know what to say, and I should have said it a long time ago, 50 points from Gryffindor”

“Aw you can’t be serious!”

“I am! And 50 points from all of you considering all the things I looked away from is nothing! Bloody Hell! I thought you were better than this!” The disappointment must have shown in my face because They didn’t say anything else, I threw their wands to the ground and then got Severus back on his feet, the marauders have left

“Severus? Severus look at me” he was sobbing uncontrollably, The kids had all been laughing, but after I appeared their faces had all gone grim, good, so they didn’t think what they had done to him was a good thing  “Let me take you to the infirmary ok?”

He nodded and I took him there, Madam Pompfrey gave him a potion and in about half an hour he was fine, she also countered that sobbing charm and he was good as new. He was awful quiet as we walked to the bedroom, when we got there I didn’t hesitate to kiss him and hold him in my arms

“That was ridiculous”

“It was”

“50 points for the three is ridiculous too”

“I know” I kissed his forehead

“Arseholes”

“heh, that, they are”

“… did I look too pathetic over there?”

I was a bit taken aback by that, he had never strike me as the self conscious type but it was understandable that he felt that way, even if he was well… him “a little, but most people were just flinching in there, which made me regain some of my hope in humanity” I pressed another kiss to his lips

“They said it was about you”

“What? ”

“They think im blackmailing you or playing with your head, they wanted to scare me away from you”

“No way”

“I was surprised too, but that’s what they said, and then we argued and ended up, dueling, it really wasn’t anything like it, especially because it was three against one but still, I ended up loosing and they hexed me”

“Oh god they are seriously getting out of control, the pollen must be driving them crazy”

He laughed at that “the pollen? Please Lupin, I know you always defend them but don’t you think this is a bit too much?”

“I know, I know but you don’t know them like I do, I swear they aren’t so-”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake can you stop that for a moment? If I don’t take the blame you take it and if not then it’s the goddamn pollen, don’t you think they are at an age when they should take responsibility!?” he said bitterly

I couldn’t stop the sigh that left me, I really didn’t want to argue “Severus, im sorry you are right, but I just cant help myself”

“you are being a fool”

“I.. I know, maybe I am but… I really don’t want to talk about this, please Severus”

“ah damnit”

“please, I don’t want to fight” I nuzzled his neck softly, trying to turn the mood and conversation to a different place

“you are impossible”

“I know, Im sorry” I started to kiss it again “I loved it when you kissed me in the halls, that was one amazing smooch”

He scoffed “It was?”

“Definitely”

“People already started to ask me what that was about”

“and what did you say?”

“I said I was just doing what a veella couldn’t do”

“why does everyone keep bringing that up?”

“Because it was the girl who had more people asking her, who stood in front of a very uninterested Remus Lupin, who had only one girlfriend before, and never bothered trying again, right after said boy had gotten a love letter from someone we don’t know till this day. Not to mention it was one of the most sarcastic rejections I had ever seen, even the bloody baron was laughing”

“um, you got most of that wrong, first off, I had two girlfriends before, the other didn’t last a full summer”

“Wow you are definitely a keeper”

“yeah.. um anyways the letter had a name, its just I didn’t say it because it was such a sweet letter, I felt bad rejecting him in front of everyone, it was a boy from Durmstrang”

“Oh.”

“and um..really you didn’t like how she asked, she had assumed I was definitely going to ask her and I was being a wuss about it so she came and asked me because she was starting to hesitate I would be brave enough to do it[1]”

“ohh”

“and she only showed interest in me after the first test when they got half the Gryffindor house on a swimsuit and that included me”

“So?”

 “ So I don’t want people to be interested in me just for my unnatural werewolf muscles, that’s not me, im not the bloke who wants all the attention, im not the one who likes to have people around for senseless reasons ok? I would rather go unnoticed than have people whose only interes in me is entirely physical”

“And what makes you think im not the same?”

“that was your first kiss and im a marauder, you really wouldn’t have done that if you didn’t see something in me, no one is that stupid”

He smiled and kissed me, It sometimes felt as if he was rewarding me for giving the right answers when he did that, and I was still having trouble coping with how natural it all felt. I had been with other people before, but it always felt so, forced, this was different, I felt perfectly comfortable, as if we had spent years doing all this, it somehow felt familiar, I was not in love, not at all, yet… there was definitely something there, I just liked having him around.

“Mm, are we… an item now or…?”

“I don’t really know, how do you feel about me” he asked

“w-well, I don’t know, I like you, a lot, but… its strange It feels a little different than its supposed to, it just feels… right, to be with you, I don’t think I’ve ever been in this situation, I don’t usually… Feel, this kinds of things, I had girlfriends before but I never really enjoyed being around them, I guess I saw them as friends more than anything, yet, this is different”

“What does that mean?” he inquired

“um, that I really like you, more than I’ve ever lied any of the people I dated, but it’s still not quite _… there_ I guess? Maybe im just not made for this and this is about as in love as I can get. What about you?”

“Well, you keep surprising me, I underestimated you, and the more you keep surprising me, the more I want you. You are definitely someone im proud to have around, but then… getting intimate, also feels right for me, but it doesn’t feel any different than the ‘ _friendship_ ’ we have when we aren’t”

“My thoughts exactly. So what should we do about this?”

He shrugged “I don’t mind it if you don’t, this feels nice”

“Yeah, well I don’t mind it either so, but if one of us gets into a relationship its all good right? We can stop doing this sort of things and the rest will be the same right?”

“Definitely”

I kissed him again, this time went back to the original teeth and tongue, but it made my head spin too much to complain, and he was grabbing my hair and scatching my skin with his nails all over me and oh god this is embarrassing.

He rise an eyebrow and just looked at me “n-not my fault, you are too handsy.”

“Do you have a problem with that, Lupin?”

I shook my head fast “Not in the slightest”

“Have you done this before?”

“um… that depends, what exactly is ‘this’?”

“are you a virgin?”

“well yes, I have gotten physical before though, but it never escalated anywhere”

“And why is that?”

I shrugged “I was bored, it didn’t feel the sexy at all”

“fair enough, is it because they were girls?”

“I don’t think so, I think its probably because I wasn’t all that into them”

He laughed “Im going to show you off so much”

“Don’t, im nothing to show off, and I don’t _want_ to be. half the people who ask me out don’t even talk to me, most of them either want to know what is wrong with me or got distracted looking at my biceps that one time, and im not even that good looking, im pale covered in scars and 9 days out of 10 I look like im dying of the world’s deadliest fever, I get shivers and I sweat like crazy and I become an irritable bastard.”

“Huh, I didn’t espect that self est-”

“This is not about self esteem, im not the face of perfection, Im just average Remus, maybe a bit lower, but I couldn’t care less about it, looks fade away too fast, I want to be and do something memorable, no be that guy who was really gorgeous and then just died”

He laughed at that “good point, alright, but I think you are very good looking”

“you do? That’s sweet, so are you”

“you think so?” he tilted his head, apparently he had a similar mindset to mine, he hadn’t acted dubious when I said I liked him, so like me, he didn’t think he was attractive, but also didn’t think it mattered

“yeah, I actually do, I just never told anyone about it”

 

 

 

* * *

[1] For those curious about it, this is what he said: “well Darling, i have to admit I am very flattered, or at least would be if it was of any relevance to me, my life or my worth as a person, then again out of all the boys out here. I realize, you chose what was probably the least likely to even consider the possibility in the whole school… and all of Britain. Here is the thing, I don’t like to share and i don’t like to be spoken to as if i was an inferior specimen of human,  but what definitely seals it for me, is that i can't conceive in my mind a more boring and frustrating way of spending the ball, tan doing so with you”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was around this point that i decided i would stop talking about the darn pollen, i didn't want to bore you with that, in one of the epilogues I'm going to make i will explain that whole matter in a better way for those who are interested

As much as I dreaded it, the full moon was going to have to come eventually, for the first time in years, I spent it on my own, It was too dangerous to let them stay with me, The headmaster had casted silver barriers around the whole room, this was going to be painful.  
And it was, I woke up the next day, every muscle in my body hurt, I started to check the damage, I was covered in scratches all over my body, I had some pretty gruesome burns, and my muscles felt so sore, I had evidently been trying ot get out like my life depended on it, I remembered the desperation, but there is no way to know how I felt at that moment, but it cant have been good, I was probably desperate to get out and tke it out on someone else. Madam Pmprferi was horrified when she saw me and started to cure my wounds, after that, the less superficial cuts ans scars had gone, but the burns, it seems as tho there was nothing she could do about it, and there was a gigantic one in my mouth. I spent the next day in the infirmary, the burns themselves had cured but those scars were horrid, I was getting worried, Madam Pompfrey said she might use a potion containing fenix tears on my face and neck so at least those wouldn’t give me away, I was in pain and terrified.   
And sobbing like a little girl, I forgot to mention that. This is how Severus found me in our room, he didn’t say anything, he just ran his hand along the bits of healthy skin and carefully pulled me to a hug. I don’t know exactly how much time I spent crying on his shoulder like that, but eventually I ran out of tears. He didn’t stop holding me and when I looked up he was frowning, studying me like one of those potions difficult to crack.  
“Severus?”  
He closed his eyes and pecked me on the lips softly, carefully, I was going to tell him it didn’t hurt but he was being so sweet.  
“I know of a few healing potions that could-”  
I shook my head “Silver”  
His eyes narrowed “they let you close to silver??”  
“The walls were covered in silver”  
He frowned at that “That’s insane”  
“I would have ran away and caused trouble otherwise”  
“Still, its inhumane”  
“Well im not very human myself”  
I did not expect him to slap me across the face, but I guess he could still surprise me. Still he was evidently carefull not to hurt me badly with that slap.  
“Stop it”  
“Stop what?”  
“Putting the blame on yourself”  
“But i”  
“no buts, you keep doing it, you are going to go insane if you keep taking the blame, you have enough to worry about as is, you don’t need to worry about how humane other people is acting” He kissed me again, still carefully but this time it wasn’t just a peck on the lips “There are still a few potions that might help with that, there will still be a scar there but it won’t be so evident”  
“Madam Pompfrey said she might make one for me, if she got the right ingredients”  
“And those are?”  
“the only one she mentioned to me and what appeared to be the most difficult one to get was fenix tears, I know the headmaster has a fenix, but I don’t know if it would cry for me”  
“Oh, in that case I will prepare one of those potions aswell” he didn’t want to say it was because it was unlikely I would get anything else.  
“Thank you”  
He smiled and kissed my forehead “are you in pain”  
“I don’t think I can even start to describe it” I chuckled “and the burns are already cured, tho I heard silver burns hurt until your dying day”  
“That is not very encouraging”  
“no, not at all”  
At that moment, I heard someone knock on the doorand Padfoot’s unmistakable voice “Hello?”  
With a movement of my wand, the door open“Hello Padfoot”  
He went visibly pale when he found me like that and stumbled on his feet at one point when he was strolling towards the bed, hput a hand on my cheek to wipe my tears “those bastards”  
“Finally something we can agree on. Black”  
Sirius shot him a pointed look but then looked back at me “Sirius, no, you are going to make a scene”  
“Hell yeah im going to make a scene! What the hell were they thinking?!”  
“I was going to run away padfoot, please”  
“no, no padfoot please, Im going to break their fucking necks!” He was rabid, and for the first time, Severus and him weren’t arguing, in fact, he wasn’t doing anything to stop him.  
“He did say he might be getting an antidote with Phoenix tears” Severus pointed out, I knew exactly what he was doing but its not as if any of them would listen to me.  
Sirius’ eyes went darker, more pointed, more dangerous “Im going to make sure of it, even if I have to make that chicken cry with my fists!” and with that he stormed off the room.  
“Has he always been this temperamental?”  
“Sirius? Not really, for some reason he always goes crazy when he sees me after the full moon, especially if he doesn’t get to lick my wounds when im still in werewolf form”  
“Huh, Is that so?” he was stroking my hair idly “you should probably get some rest”   
I shook my head “Madam Pompfrey will give me dreamless sleep tonight, when I fall asleep I start to remember…”  
“Oh, of course, In that case you should lay down nonetheless”  
“I wish I could go outside”  
“Im sorry?”  
“The sun, it… it always makes it better, in most moons I get to do that because there aren’t a lot of evident scars on my face, I wish I could do it now”  
“We could, a simple illusion should be enough to hide those burns for a moment”  
I had to laugh at that “I know more cosmetic charms than most girls my age, trust me, there is nothing you can do to hide this massive thing on my face”  
“really?”  
“scars are a tricky subject, those inflicted by mythical creatures are even more difficult so the self inflicted ones are even more trouble and dark magic is impossible to hide, no matter how powerful the charm”  
“And where do those burn fit?”  
“Dark magic, the werewolf transformation is ruled by dark magic, the sliver drives it against the werewolf, Sirius could explain it better”  
“What? How does Black-”  
“He knows more about werewolves than I do, when he found out he devoured every book with information about it, he was the one who came up with the idea of becoming animagi, sort of, he is the one who found out about the possibility and insinuated it would be cool if they could do that, and James was the one who said ‘Lets do it.’ ”  
“Huh…”  
“What?”  
“Nothing, I was simply wondering how you became so close to them”  
“Um… well… That’s really my second big secret, promise not to tell anyone”  
“I don’t tell people about your licantrophy and im going to tell them about some gossip”  
“heh ok, good point. The thing is… I used to have a massive crush on Sirius Black”  
His eyes narrowed “Really?”  
“Yeah, It was the first year and I started talking more to james in hopes of getting closer to him by association, It didn’t take long for me to realize how stupid it was to consider Sirius that way, but by the time I did we had all already become really good friends”  
“Well, out of all the reasons I could have guessed…”  
I chuckled “Yes I know, I know, its crazy, even back then I knew I was being silly, that’s why I never really told him, I just knew it wasn’t going to work out”  
“Why tho? I mean back then he wasn’t…”  
“Nah, he was always a tramp, he was the kind of boy who has 7 crushes at a time”  
“Well, Im shocked”  
“heh, it’s the natural way to react”  
“I guess opposites attract”  
“Opposites?”  
“You said it yourself, he is a tramp, he outgoing temperamental and childish, you on the other side”  
“I can be very temperamental”  
“Lies, the only moment when you loose your temper is on the full moon”  
“Exactly!” I chuckled and then nuzzled him “How did you meet lily? It seemed as tho you knew eachother before hogwarts”  
“we did, we were neighbors. I think we were 7 years old when we met”  
“And did you already like her then?”  
“Im sorry?”  
“Aw please, don’t you think you are doing a good job hiding it”  
“… I did”  
Well, that was… not very surprising, I decided I would push my luck “Why aren’t you two talking anymore?”  
He sent me a pointed look but then looked away and continued stroking my hair “I called her a mudblood”  
“Wow, smooth. Ha,ha is that what all the fuss was about?”  
“Do you think it’s a minor thing?!”  
“Of course I do, its just one word, I could go tell her you are sorry”  
He seemed outraed at that“You think she-”  
“I could write a book titled ‘100 Ways to make Lily Evans Stop Being Angry’ Im the guy responsible for her not hexing Potter, you know?”  
“What?”  
“Well yes, after every few failed attempts at her Lily would get really mad at him and I would go behind her telling her to please keep in mind my friend is an idiot and is just trying to get her attention”  
“You mean she-”  
“She can’t stand his guts, she only has some patience because I ask her to”  
“and how come you have so much influence on her?” wait was he jealous?  
“I know how to talk to people, and we are a lot alike so she understands my position too”  
“Can you please explain to me what you are doing in Gryffindor?”  
“Woah, hey there, not all Gryffindors are idiots just because I have some people skills and I pay attention to the details trying to get my way It doesn’t mean I don’t belong there. And besides, having to hide something like beign a werewolf you learn a lot about manipulation and lying, because you have to, not because you like it.”  
“Growing up? When did you become a werewolf?”  
“Um, I think I was 3 years old”  
His eyes narrowed again “How come you didn’t die then?”  
“My father had insulted a werewolf, he took revenge by biting me, he could have killed me, but he knew it would be more painful this way”  
He didn’t seem to know how to answer to that so I changed the subject “Ill talk to Lily as soon as I get back to normal”  
“Thank you”  
“Don’t mention it” I pressed a kiss to his neck and continued to lay there like that.


	7. Chapter 7

“I can’t believe you Lupin!” Lily Evans was staring at me with a frown on her face

“Please, do keep in mind he was being humiliated in public, he was angry and embarrassed and not thinking straight at the moment”

“You are so good at making up excuses for other people”

“its not an excuse, Its not even as if he was pureblooded, are you going to let friendship of so many years end out of one little word?”

“Yes but its not just _any_ word, Remus”

“To me it is, you have no idea about all the things I have been called”

“But to me it is not! Everyone doubts me because of my blood, as if it mattered”

“Do you really think It matters to him?”

“Well I don’t know, he said it did”

“Once, in a very uncomfortable situation”

She sighed “How are you so good at putting yourself in other people’s places, I can’t do it, you are too nice”

I laughed “no im not, I just… can relate to this situation in particular, just like with james”

“Don’t play with myself, to severus, perhaps, but I don’t remember the last time you did anything even remotely silly for love”

“oh you would be surprised” No she wouldn’t, the craziest thing I had ever done was probably buying chocolates and not eating them, but she didn’t need to know that.

“Why is it always you who comes to apologize anyways? You are the only one who never does anything wrong to me, they should be the ones coming to apologize”

“But that is the exact reason why I come instead, you are more likely to listen to me… and not hex me” I added with a smile.

That seemed to win her over, she smiled “I’ll think about it” Which with her, meant ‘Yes, but I will continue to play difficult for a while so they realize they blew it’.

~*~

Severus and I were Studying together, I noticed the pointed looks the marauders were giving me but he was the only person I knew who had taken aritmancy, with runes at least there was Lily, but Aritmancy always kept me on my own, however since we became friends with Severus we started to study and solve the problems they gave us together.

“I can see a little mark over there with the sun” he grabbed my chin and tilted my head

“You can? But I thought the remedy Madam Pompfrey gave me…”

“No, don’t worry, it’s not very vident, you have to be looking for it to actually see it”

“Oh, you should have started there, you scared me”

Sirius had apparently made a stunt, Just the next day of it Madam Pompfrey had the antidote, apparently he and James spent the following days pranking the headmaster, Padfoot was really angry at him, hed put charms and bombs on his food, fill the door to the office with invisible fireworks so when someone entered his office they exploded, he even literally flipped the teachers table, it took about 20 bombs and a bombarding charm for him to do it, but he did, he lifted the whole 600kg table and made it flip and fall to the floor, crushing into a million pieces. Seeing the faces of all the teachers, everyone started to cheer, after that Sirius wore a gigantic smug grin for about a week, it had been months since I last had seen him in such a good mood, and apparently he did it on his own, neither James or Pete Helped him. And what was worse, he got his way, the bombarding charm who set everything off could have been casted by anyone, it was a relatively complex one, but anyone could have managed it, and the teachers weren’t looking, it was brilliant, you could put that on your grave “He flipped the teacher’s table. No, really. ”

“Does it still hurt?”

“Um, a little, only when I think about it”

He frowned and pulled me closer, studying me with his dark eyes, I was about to ask what was wrong when he kissed me again, I can’t believe the power he had over me, I just melted when he kissed me like that. I wrapped my arms around his head and clung to him, aritmancy be dammed.

When we broke the kiss I rest my head against his shoulder, pretending to go back to my book “you worry too much, im fine”

“I don’t worry, it just bothers me to see you go through that”

“Its nothing, really” I went back to my book, this time for real

“Don’t lie to me”

I sighed “Fine, It’s heinous, I wish I could kill myself and every time the full moon comes close I start to regret not doing it, so what? Its nto as if there’s anything anyone can do about it”

“I know” he pulled me closer and went back to his book as well, we stood like that for a while, reading separately but holding each other’s hand, our fingers intertwined and our shoulders against one another, occasionally one of us would ask the other about something we didn’t understand, ironically, I think I learned more Aritmancy than in any class of the year.

~*~

It was so loud. The hundreds of voices echoing in the great hall were driving me crazy. My head hurt. I buried my head in my arms and tried to ignore them, that was when I felt padfoot’s hand on my back and looked up.

“You weren’t listening were you?” said James

“Sorry”

“Don’t worry about it” Sirius smiled at me, I wanted to smile back but It came out more as a grimace. “Do you want me to take you to the infirmary?”

I shook my head “My stomach already hurts from all the potions I’ve been swallowing lately”

He frowned “Then ill just take you out of here, or is it that only Snivellus can take care of you now?”

I hadn’t been expecting that “Where did you get that idea from? Of course not!”

“Come to think of it, you have been spending an awful lot of time with him lately” added Prongs

Sirius smiled at him “ He has now hasn’t he?” he grabbed me by  the wrist “I wonder why”

“Stop teasing” I rolled my eyes and looked away, trying not to blush

Prongs frowned and rest both hands on my knee“We aren’t teasing, we are worried”

“What? Why would you be worried?”

“Bacause why the hell would you hang around him? If its about that secret…”

“You think he is blackmailing me?!” I looked at the two surprised

“That’s one of our theories, yes. A month ago you didn’t even talk to him, you hated him as much as we do, you have to understand it is suspicious”

“Oh… well, I actually never really hated him that much anyways but.. I see how it could be suspicious”

“I mean he did come up with that plan to ‘help’ you and spend more time with you didn’t he?”

“Um ok, but you are still only making assumptions, I don’t know of any  trick he could have played with me that would have.. flet like that… Ok lets go somewhere else if we are going to continue talking about this, my head is killing me”

And with that three of us left, followed by a very reluctant Peter

“Alright now”James started again “we thought about a love potion too”

I shook my head “No way, I am by no means obsessed with him, it cant be, I don’t really think he has done anything other than being nice to me”

They didn’t seem convinced “What do you see in him?” said Padfoot in a despective tone

“Um… well he is smart and… he is an arse in a very entertaining way” I chuckled “I just like to have him around”

“Is that it?”

I laughed “I don’t think you two really understand what our ‘relationship’ is like”

“What do you mean?” Padfoot was definitely not in a good mood

“We are not even a couple, we are just friends”

“Right, friends who stick their tongues inside eachother’s mouths”

“Actually yes” I couldn’t help to keep laughing at how ridiculous I sounded “We just.. do it because its fun, it feels right, he is heads over heels for someone else anyways”

“And you?” The light in Sirus’ eyes shifted ina way I couldn’t recognize.

I shrugged “I think he is nice, nothing to loose sleep over”

“No I didn’t mean- nevermind”

“For how long have you two known me? I never have crushes, the last time was when I was 10 years old”

“What really?”

“Yeah, that’s besides the point,  what matters is I don’t think theres a charm that makes you fuck buddies with someone else, he is not manipulating me, and he didn’t really blackmail me either, In the beginning, with that thing about interschool help he said I had no choice in the matter, not that I was planning on saying no anyways, but that was really it, I don’t think he is going to say anything”

The three just looked at each other for a minute, then James whined, flinching “but its _Snivellus_!”

“haha, so?”

“So, what the hell Moony?”

“Who was that crush?” said Padfoot, it seemed as tho his mind never elft that concept

I just grinned at that, it was so tempting to just see his face when I told him, and why the hell shouldn’t I tell him? “You” I laughed and started to walk around the halls, His face was sterling.

“Wait what?” he started to follow me and in consequence, so did James and Pete

“Told you he liked blokes” Said Prongs

“What? I don’t, not exclusively”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this before?!” he was freaking out more than I expected

“It never came up” I shrugged

“Wait no but what about _then_?”

“Oh, I just thought you were a flirt and I didn’t want anything to actually happen”

“Oh, you cant be serious!”

“I can’t, you are Sirius” that was a lame joke but It was so much fun to bother him

“I was ten years old! I was not a flirt!”

“Oh really? When was your first kiss and ever since how much time have you spent without making out?”

He hesitated for a second “Ok you got a point but still!”

“Padfoot chill out you are making quite the sad display”

“Who are you to talk about sad displays, Potter!?”

“Girls, calm down, you are both pretty”

“Oh shut up!” he pushed me a little too hard and made me trip and fall to the ground.

For a second there was silence before he reached down to help me sit down his gaze suddenly shifting to one of fear “fuck sorry I…”

I shook my head “Its ok, Im fine, no broken bones”

They both helped me out and we stood there in awkward silence for a moment “And the reason I spend so much time with you guys is that I can’t find you anywhere, the school is huge and without the map it’s a lsot cause  so I always go back to my room and Severus is always there. Its not like im switching sides or anything you know?”

James smiled and nodded “Right, well then I guess we’ll have to go look for you instead”


	8. Chapter 8

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me”

“to be fair, you are kind of a flirt”

“Yeah but still, If he can go around smooching Snivellus, why does me being a flirt makes any difference?”

James shrugged “maybe he just has a big-”

“Oh shut up!”

“You know what they say about men with big noses”

“Oh please”

“Hey im as dumbfolded as you, What the hell does he see in him?”

“And for the record mine is pretty fucking big too”

“You don’t need to say it, we shower together”

“Just putting it out there, seriously, he should have said it”

“maybe he was scared you wouldn’t reciprocate his feelings”

“This is remus we are talking about, he cares less about if other people like him than Dumbledore cares about sharp razors”

“Yeah but that is because the of the reasons why people like him, you know he hates people being around him for the wrong reasons”

“yeah that’s true but I wouldn’t have-”

“that’s not how he saw it. Or even sees it now, When was the last time you had a non physically driven relationship?”

He glared at him “You know just because I don’t do it doesn’t mean I am not capable of ti if I found the right person don’t you?”

“I do.” He raise his palms “but he doesn’t”

Sirius groaned and buried his head on a pillow

“Maybe that’s it”

“huh?”

“maybe that’s why he likes him, Look at it from his prespective. There is this dude, that should totally hate his guts, but he instead says he is going to help him out and I bet he probably praises him a lot too, if he thinks about it, why on earth would he do that if he didn’t have some genuine interest on him? Maybe Snivelus knows it too, maybe that’s the trick”

“Since when did you get so perceptive? And no, he wouldn’t pull that trick because Remus doesn’t talk to a lot of people about how that kind of attention bothers him”

“but maybe he told him as they grew more confident”

“right, well fuck, that’s even worse, we can’t even prove it, its just slick Slytherin manipulation”

“You should ask him out”

“What?”his eyes narrowed

“I said you should ask him out, theres no time like today and if he says yes you would be driving him away from him, you still have the clock don’t you?”

“wiat who told you… and how do you know about the clock?!”  
“oh I ran out of cigarettes and took some of yours, I saw the clock there, very smooth ‘I love you moony’ what an amazing poethic charm huh?”

“oh fuck off… for how long have you known?”

“well I saw it in fourth year but  I had my suspicions from before”

“why didn’t you say anything?”

“why didn’t you?”

“Because he is Remus Lupin! No one has a chance with him!”

“Maybe you do, if snivellus could then you can, and besides, he had a crush on you didn’t he? That is quite the accomplishment considering who we are talking about”

He sighed “Yeah but still”

“Ok listen” Prongs sat up, evidently irritated “You are supposed to be a Gryffindor, And you are Sirius Black, If someone has a chance with him, it should be you, and come on, do you think Lupin would hold it against you? Our lupin? The worse thing he would do is respectfully decline and-”

“No, the worse thing he could do is give me a speech like the one he did on the veella”

“He wouldn’t do that to you!”

“How do you know?”

“I just do, now man up and ask him out”

“and if he says no? do you think my ego could take it if he said no and continued to smooch Snivellus?”

He snorted “of course not, that’s why you are going to make sure he says yes, you have the clock, just do something silly and romantic and give it to him, if you just go and sey ‘Hey wanna hang out?’ he won’t take it well, but if you come up with something cheesy like that love letter he just won’t be able to help himself, at least hell think about it”

He groaned “Fine but you are going to help me!”

“Sure, What do I have to do?”

~*~

“mmm, that feels really good” I was on Severus’ bed, the owner of which was laying on top of me, kissing my neck and probably leaving all sorts of bites and bruises on it. I felt every inch of my skin burning under my robes.

“Wow, look at yourself” he arched his eyebrow in that way that was so characteristically Severus

“Oh, please, you are enjoying yourself just as much as I am I can feel it” I grabbed his crotch, oh merlin that was big

He must have noticed my blush because e he laughed and rolled his hips against mine, making me bite back a moan

“You talk too much lupin”

“Then do something to shut me up” I groaned.

And that was exactly what he did, he grabbed me by the hair and just like he had before, he pulled my head down to his crotch, I looked up to him

“Is it ok this time?”

 He seemed to hesitate for a second before cupping my cheek “Im ok with going as far as you want to”

“mmm why the sudden change?” I asked while I entertained myself tith the buttons of his pants

“Its not sudden, I wasn’t sure if my impression on you was right”

“and it was?”

“not really, you are a bigger fool than I expected, even before”

I laughed and nuzzled his crotch, internally panicking because there was no way I could do a decent job with that.

He continued “But I rather like you, just like that” he smiled down at me and I pulled his lenght out of his boxers, it wasn’t as big as it was long and it had a slight curvature up, I licked my lips in anticipation before before starting to lick it, I felt goosebumps at the moan that escaped him

“mm theres no way I can” I tried to take as much as I could in my mouth “no way, its too long” I looked away embarassed

He chuckled and pinned me down again “well in that case I will have to do something else with it” He murmured something I didn’t quite understand and all our clothes disappeared and appeared on my bed “You really have to teach me that”

“later” he smiled  and rolled his hips over mine again, this time it was skin to skin and it felt too amazing “ah fuck, I hope your silencing charm is as good as you said it was”

“It is” he murmured, looking at me, only then I realized, I was naked; I was naked below Severus Snape! I looked up and studied him like he was studying me, he was thin and pale, besides some very faint muscles and abs that were visible only because of how think he was, I could also see his ribs, It was strange, he shouldn’t look so… manly, maybe it had to do with how intensely he was staring at me, or how his chest went up and down, or maybe it was that massive thing pressing against my thigh

“Are you looking at my scars?”

He looked up distracted “not only the scars, You don’t really apparent-”

“if you are going to say something about my muscles, shut up”

“Don’t tell me what to do, I was thinking they don’t really look unnatural, and you aren’t that buff, its all in your head you know?”

“and what about the stupid third years who sent me letters? Is it in their minds too?”

“no, they didn’t suspect anything”

“huh?”

“Im just saying you just look like a normal boy, maybe a batter, that’s it, its not as strange as you make it out to be”

“I didn’t… oh nevermind, where were we?”

He was still staring at me intently “Are you sure about this? You look rather anxious”

I let out a frustrated chuckle and pulled him down for a kiss, calming down a little “I am anxious, _very_ anxious, but that is only because I haven’t done this before, I want to, really.” I lookrd st him in the eyes, tyring to show him how sure I was about this

“very well, but I will be on top”

I figured he would want to, to be honest I didn’t know what option made me more nervous, then again it will probably feel nice to have severus inside and on top of me, wrapping his arms around me, just feeling him all around me “sure, go for it, but be _really_ careful and if I say stop you stop right away”

“Of course” He smiled and kissed me again, softly, it was more of a reassuring kiss than a lustfull one. He then grabbed his wand and oh hell that fucking spell “Let me know before you do that!”

He shrugged “this way its quicker it will take forever to prepare you otherwise” he slid a finger inside of my now filled with lubricant entrance, my back arched, I could feel stings of pleasure running up my stomach, and then another one, and another one. I was probably screaming by then, I really wasn’t paying attention, all I could think about was his longs cold fingers inside of me and how incredibly _good_ it felt.

And then he removed them “No wait” I whimpered, not sure if it was because I wanted to continue feeling it or because I was scared of the pain, it was probably both

“look at me”

I opened my eyes and did as he said, that was when I noticed I was shivering “fuck, sorry”

He pulled me closer so I was burying my face in his neck “don’t be, Is everything alright?”

I nodded but he didn’t seem convinced  “you are terrified”

I didn’t answer.

He cupped my cheek and made me look at him “look at me, are you really ready for this?”

“I am I just…”

“Its not going to hurt”

“how do you know?”

He smiled “I do, just trust me, open your legs, ill go slow, I promise”

I took a breath and once again did as he said, still trembling.

And then he started to push. It was true, he was going slowly, but I couldn’t help to clench for some seconds before forcing myself to relax again. He stopped and pressed his forehead against mine. “See? It doesn’t hurt, you can relax now, that way ill be able to get deeper”

“mm, since when… do you know so much about this?” I groaned

“I know nothing” he laughed “all I know is that it shouldn’t hurt and I deduced I probably have to go slow and prepare you properly for that to happen”

“it was a rethorical question” I panted

“…It feels amazing inside you, did you know that?”

“How the  hell am I supposed to – ahh!” I arched my back again, he was pressing deeper “Bastard, I told you to warm me”

“but you were so relaxed, if I warmed you you would tighten up again”

“mm, still, ahh, no, ah damnit fuck”

He chuckled and opened my legs wider, ignoring my moaning and cursing until he was all the way in, then he stopped.

“You fucker!”

“That is exactly what I am” he smirked and pulled me back to bury my head on his neck “Its alright, take your time”

“Its not fair, you are being way too silent”

“I don’t see the point in making noises, just now I was biting a pillow instead, I prefer to bite I suppose”

“Mmok, then bite me not the stupid pillow”

“my my, you get so moody when you are like this”

“ugh I just-”

“please clam down” he looked at me again, now his voice had shifted, he wasn’t teasing anymore “you really do talk to much, relax, loosen up and stop commenting, Its distracting”

“im sorry”

“its ok, you were nervous, but now its fine right? Just close your eyes and focus on how you are feeling like you did before, you were brilliant before”

I blushed and nodded “You can move now”

He bit my neck and started to move very slow and oh merlin that felt incredible. I clung to him and tried to open my legs wider, he  seemed to notice because he started to caress my thigs, helping me to open them. And then he just grabbed both of my legs and hld them in place as he suddenly changed the rhythm, he was going faster.

I positively screamed at that, he didn’t stop, but he did start to kiss me around the neck instead of just biting. I closed my eyes and ran my fingers through his hair, and suddenly the world disappeared, it was only the two of us, holding eachother close and panting. All I could think of was how good he felt inside me, how comforting it was to have him holding me, he was so warm and I was on fire. And then he brushed against that spot, I let out a cry of pleasure, and he started to thrust against it over and over. I could feel myself coming over the edge, but not yet, I didn’t want this to be over. All things come to an end, I didn’t expect it to feel that good though, I clung to him as I felt him too release, and fill me up. And then he collapsed on top of me.

“Oh Merlin that felt amazing!”

 He chuckled and pressed a kiss to my lips, pulling out carefully so I could close my legs again, I realized they hurt, probably from the stretching, but it was worth it. “Ah damn’t that feels so strange” I squirmed, it really did feel strange, to have his release inside of me

“I didn’t expect you to be so loud”

“you should see me on a full moon” I chuckled

“I did”

Oh, right. “… sorry”

“there you go again, apologizing for things that aren’t your fault”

“mmn, lets talk about something else ok?”

He smiled at me “Why were you so amazed It felt good, I take it you don’t touch yourself very often?”

I shrugged “Its boring, I only do it when I can’t sleep, I don’t even have good ideas about who or what to think about”

“You do now”

I smiled “he, he, I guess I do. Damn I bet my neck is a mess now”

“It is but I suppose you know how to fix that”

“Haha, I actually do, when I get bruises in wolf form, those are easy to remove, the scratches are the difficult part, I have one huge mark on my back for example” I turned around so he could see it  but when I did he just wrapped his arms around me and hugged me from behind

“You are adorable. Can we clean up and go to my bed?”

“Huh? What for?”

“I want to sleep together, and Id rather sleep next to my window”

He smiled and kissed me “of course.”


	9. Chapter 9

Sirius was being dragged to the Gryffindor common room, where Lily Evans apparently was. “I shouldn’t have asked you for help” he groaned to James. Who insisted that she was the only person who would know how to get to Lupin because if he ever talked to someone about it it had to be her.

“Aw come on, you know I got a point.”

“Just don’t make a complete fool of yourself”

“Like I would ever do that” said Prongs smiling as he wntered the common room

“What do you want now?” that was Evans sighing

“We need help! We are on a mission!”

“A mission?” she asked impatient, not very happy at his prescence

“Yes!” James triumphally said “You see Padfoot here” He dragged Sirius closer “He is going to ask someone out and we need your help with that”

“Why would you need my help, Sirius what is he on about? You of all people, needing help to hook up with someone”

Sirus groaned “That’s because-”

“Because that person is Remus”

Her eyes narrowed “You have to be kidding!”

“nope ”

“you enjoy my misery way too much did you know that prongs?”

He chuckled “I don’t, im helping”

“No you are not” Lily protested and then turned to Sirus “but if that is really true then you better sit down”

Sirius swallowed and did so, along with james

“exactly since when do you like him?”

“um.. couple of years”

“I said exactly”

He sighed “secong year”

“Oh, merlin”

“Second year Padfoot? Really?”

“I just, didn’t see anything other than friendship vibes from him so I kept it to myself, I was happy with how it was, and then he started to show his position towards dating and I just knew there was no chance in the world anyways”

“And you changed you mind now, why?”

“He is going out with _Snivellus_!”

She smiled “You are jealous”

“Im indignant! If he could so can I”

She smiled at him sweetly “Well what are you planning to do?”

“Um, I was actually hoping you would help me with that, im not the most romantic bloke out there and I bet he would want me to do something really cool”

“Hmm”

“We just thought that since other than us you are the person who talks to him the most, you might know some things we dont”

“I don’t know what kind of conversations you think we have but not really, I know his favourite color is blue, but that goes without saying, I just noticed every time he has the option he buys the blue one. Um… I don’t really know, most of the time we talk about school or about how I should not hex you”

She said turning to James at the end

Sirus sighed “See? I told you, he wasn’t going to talk about this stuff to her”

“You know, I think the best thing you could do is some sort of puzzle, maybe make him go throught tests, he loves spellscasting and runes, you gould hand him a map or something, and he has to figure out where you are to find you”

“Wouldn’t that make him want to kick my ass instead?”

“No, he loves challenges, and he’ll be in a good mood once he solves it so he will be biased already”

“Maybe you could do all that but he has to find the clock instead”

“Clock?” Lily asked

“That would be a good idea, I should hide it in the room of requirement”

“but everyone hides stuff in there!”

“You can work out the logistics later” she said “that’s my idea, oh and you should probably make sure to avoid bright white lights, he once had a panic attack when he was hit by one when we were checking up on the halls after curfew”

The other two shared a look before thanking her and leaving, James was stopped by an angry teacher, apparently he had forgotten detention and was dragged towards it. Sirius decided to go to the common room and think of something.

 

Oh, speak of the devil, there was Lupin.


	10. Chapter 10

Remus had spent that day in the library, trying to study instead of thinking about Severus, but there was nothing to it, he couldn’t stop remembering. He wasn’t usually the kind who needed to take care of himself or would get hard in random places, but apparently that had changed, he had done it in the morning just in case so it was easy to handle it during the day, btu he still couldn’t stop thinking about it. Finnally he gave up and headed somewhere else, trying to distract himself.

That was when he came across a very thoughtfull looking Sirius Black.

“Oh hey Padfoot” he smiled and waved his hand

He looked at him absentmindedly “Moony”

“What are you doing? You look distracted, Maybe I can help”

He scowled“no need”

“Um… did I do something wrong?” I asked, taken aback by his reaction

“You are not the only one with enhanced senses you know? I can smell him all over you”

“Oh” I looked down blushing

“Gross” he mumbled

“Huh?” well I was not expecting that

“its disgusting, how could you even… I thought you were better than this”

“Better than what? Its not as if I hadn’t smelled hundreds of people on you!” That sounded weird, but it was true, he was terribly promiscuous, hwy would he get upset at me sleeping with one person?

“Yeah but… Its different”

“How, Padfoot? How is it different? Just because you don’t like him it doesn’t mean you get to look down on me for what I decide to do with him”

“Because you are not like me”

“What is that supposed to mean?!”

“Because you shouldn’t… You should be…”

“What makes you think you know what I should and should not be?!”

“You said it yourself, im a tramp, you are not supposed to be one”

“Oh so slepping with one person suddenly puts me on the same category as a guy who slept with half the school?”

“No that isn’t… fuck Lupin!”

“What? You are really making no sense, you are just beign an arse to me because you don’t like what I do”

“Do you expect me to like it?”

“I expect you not to be a fucking kid and suck it up if you don’t!”

“Easy for you to say”

“ _Of course_ , because I _don’t know_ how _dealing with things_ you don’t like is like, because I have _no idea about going through difficult situations._ do i? I _never_ think about you, right, I am _always_ an inconsiderate bastard who doesn’t do things like… um… saving you from getting in trouble, begging the teachers to shorten your detentions, taking the blame for things because I know they will be easier on me than they would be on you, _right_ , im _just an asshole_ who is complaining here, _I know nothing about how you could be feeling_ because I _never had to deal with anything in my entire life_ ”

“That is not what I said, and no, you couldn’t possibly understand how im feeling right now, but why do I even bother?”

“Right, and if you had the choice of being a werewolf in exchange for not feeling like that anymore, would you?” He froze at that “Of course you wouldn’t! You couldn’t deal with that, you have no right to be angry or offended or what I decide to do because you don’t like how it makes you feel, I don’t care about how angry you are, you are a thousand times luckier than me! And yet, I keep doing everything I can to make it even easier for you, always, but when was the last time you stopped to think about how I was feeling? Definitely not all the times you made me look like a shitty Prefect, or when you picked me in a project in pairs knowing I would have to do the work while you just enjoyed the merits alongside me, or when you would bring me to your house only to make _them_ angry because you are friends with a halfblood, never mind how they treated me? I don’t want to be ungrateful or anything, but I really can’t help to get the impression that you only want to help me when its fun or charming to do it. Now think about how _I_ feel about that”

He was quiet for a moment, he had paled, I was about to say something again when he spoke again

“Well fine! Then im going to stay away from your sorry ass and let Snivellus take care of it! What do I care?!” And with that he stormed off.

I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bed, I felt my chest tighten the more I thought about it, I just stared at the sky through my window, long enough for the sun to hide, and then I felt long figers caress my sides

“Severus”

“What happened now?”

“Got in a fight with Sirius”

He nodded and sat next to me, making me rest my head on his lap and running his fingers through my hair “over?”

“You actually, he knows we had sex”

“How does he know that?”

I blushed “Smell, its really nasty he and me we both can tell if one of the people in the halls had sex a few hours before or not, along all sorts of other things, enhanced senses is really not as fun as it sounds”

He nodded “What did he say?”

“Um.. that he thought I was better than this and some other things that made little to no sense, I don’t know what got to him”

“Wait, you don’t know?”

“huh?” I looked at him “am I supposed to know?”

“… Don’t tell me you didn’t realize that Black likes you”

“What? Haha why would you think that?”

“Because he studied werewolves for you, because he was really angry when he noticed you and me were together, he went insane when he saw those silver burns and probably there are many other clues i don’t know of”

“Yeah, that would make sense, if this wasn’t Sirius we are talking about, Do you even know him? He never fancies anyone in secret, and if they don’t give in after a week he gets bored and looks for someone else, there is no way he would like anyone let alone me, we have been friends since first year haven’t we? He is just… that, a friend, that is why he cares, sort of”

“Sort of?”

“The more I think about it, the more I question it, sometimes it seems he only does things for me because its fun or because he thinks is right, I suppose being a werewolf I would be very likely to appeal to their pity”

“You think they pity you?”

“Hard not to, I think they don’t realize it but they are just being heroes, not… friends”

“Wow”

“what?”

“Nothing, you just look depressed”

“can you blame me? Im just tired, this is the first time I ever do something he is not ok with, and he reacts like this”

“… Well im not going to stand up for them, but you shouldn’t feel bad about it, if they really only see you as someone to boost up their heroism and self esteem, then it will show if you walk away and they don’t follow. And if that were the case, you shouldn’t feel bad about it, we have all been played with before, it would only be a learning experience. Though I do still think Black is after you, but I guess we will see”

“See what? Even if he was I… I don’t like him, he is a friend, and I really don’t think we would last more than a month”

“I agree with that, however do not hesitate to tell me if you changed your mind, I won’t be angry if you chose a romantic relationship over this, its completely understandable, besides, Its most likely that you will come back to me nevertheless”he smiled and I pulled him to a kiss

“I know, but seriously there is no way he likes me”


	11. Chapter 11

Lily Evans walked inside the Gryffindor common room. In it she found Sirius black attacking a plastic device with a butter knife, in closer inspection, that thing was a radio.

“What are you doing?” she smiled and sat next to him

“fixing my radio” he mumbled between his teeth

“oh, of course, fixing”

“I just cant get it to crack open”

“wouldn’t a fixing charm make it work tho?”

“It should, but with this delicate muggle shit it doesn’t, I guess its because I can’t really visualize it when fixed”

“oh, of course”

 He stabbed the radio again

“maybe you could use one of these?” she conjured a screwdriver

“Oh, thanks” he grabbed it and after a minute of hesitation, stabbed the radio with the screwdriver instead

“nono, not like that” she giggled and took both the radio and screwdriver away from im, unscrewing one of the screws to show him

“ohh, that explains a lot”

“it does, but it doesn’t explain what has gotten to you”

“excuse me?”

“I heard you got in a fight with Remus”

He looked down and pouted “not my fault”

“what happened?”

“he screwed snivellus, what the hell? How come his standards lowered so badly in a matter of a year!”

She giggled at that “so you are jealous”

“im more outraged actually”

“Well actually, those two always had chemisty, The first thing I told Remus after that kiss was ‘I told you so’ ive always said they would like eachother”

“What?”his face contorted hilariously “Why?”

“Oh they have a lot in common, and severus is really Remus’ type, if he has one that is, he is intelligent, he is withdrawn and he is not looking for pretentious attention… that and he can be quite caring once he grows fond of you, im sure you can see why all that would attract someone like Remus”

“Yeah, but still…”

“I still think you can get him tho”

“huh? You do? But you just said…”

“I said they got chemistry and that he is his type, that  doesn’t mean Severus could give him everything he needs, remus did say they weren’t a couple did he?”

“So what? Lupin is as inaccessible as they come, being able to kiss and even screw him is an equivalent of being soulmates bond to be together for eternity to anyone else”

She laughed at that “You really overreact, that always bothered him, people thinking he is difficult, he said he really wasn’t interested overall, its not a matter of who is better, it’s a matter of who is more sincere, which is why you are at a disadvantage”

“What? But im totally sincere about this!”

“but he doesn’t know that, look at it from his perspective, there is a boy who should definitely hate him, but he instead he says he is going to help him out and I heard from Remus that he praises him a lot too, if he thinks about it, why would he do that if he didn’t have some genuine interest on him?”

“So _that’s_ where he got that from! I knew it was too perceptive to be James!”

She giggled “yeah he was watching me when I talk to a few friends about it”

“That’s creeppy”

“he is creppy, anyways, Im certan that Severus is one hundred percent honest about his feelings for Remus because heard both of them talk about each other, do you know what Remus told me when I asked what he liked the most about him?”

“One hundred what? Nevermind, what did he tell you?”

“‘I feel secure being myself when he is around’. He said that he thinks Severus can read into him like an open book and he doesn’t pry in or ignores it, he just stays close and that is really all it  takes for him to feel better, its really sweet if I have to be honest” Oh, that word again ‘feeling’

“You know you are making me terribly depressed right?”

She laughed and rolled her eyes “It will do you good, that cheerfulness can get very annoying, besides, im almost giving you a hand guide on exactly what you have to do to get him, you should be thankfull.”

“But t doesn’t matter anymore, I already blew it with that stupid argument”  
“Oh please” she laughed out loud at that

“What?”

“What?? You can’t seriously not realize how easy it is to fix things with lupin. for a boy you have been after for years you don’t seem to know much about him. Do you have any idea of how many hours in total he had spent begging for forgiveness on your behalf and the rest of the marauders, and Snape too? He Is also terribly convincing, because half the time he is the one who is getting in trouble for it the most”

“He… mentioned that…”

“That’s your problem, you never pay enough attention to things until they blow up in your face, and attention and care is really what is most important to him! What do you even like about him if you don’t pick things like those out about him?!”

“I never really looked at all that, i… he is always so entirely in control and he is so… cool, but in a completely nice and comforting way, I just… I feel like I wouldn’t be able to breathe without him”

“So you just want someone to be there to take care of you?”

“No! I wan’t to do the same! I just… I don’t know how get to him, I don’t really know how I can help, because the shit he has to deal with.. I  just, there is no helping something like _that_ and I just want to be what… hero Gryffindors are supposed to be but he never sees me like that because he is Remus Lupin and he never sees anyone that way”

She smiled and patted his back “You are trying too hard, he doesn’t want a hero, he just wan’ts someone showing him he cares, and you got too distracted looking at the big picture you missed all the important details, I don’t know how I can make it any more clear for you, it’s the small things that matter, think about it, how did Severus get to spend time with remus?”

“Offering to help him deal with the Pollen? But he was just trying to mess with us”

“ok now how did he make Remus get comfortable around him?”

“How am I supposed to know?”

“He literally just hugged him”

“What?”

“Remus was feeling bad and he just sat there and hugged him while he cried in his shoulder, next thing he knew, Remus Lupin was kissing his neck, I swear that’s how it went down”

“You got to be shitting me!” He didn’t know exactly which part of the whole scene she had just described shocked him the most, the part where he kissed his neck was disturbing, yes, but what bothered him the most was that he had never seen Remus cry, ever, and he was pretty sure no one else had either, so if he was feeling down he was holding it in? and why would he choose someone like that slimy Slytherin to open up with?

She smiled “Im not”

“how  do you eve know all this, I thought you didn’t talk about this things with him?”

“I said we don’t talk about ideal boyfriends or who is our types but we do talk about actual relationships we are actually having. That reminds me I should probably let you know that he used to have a crush on you”

“he told me” he huffed

“Heh well at least now you are not angry, just think about it ok? You have a positively huge chance with him, don’t ruin it being grumpy”

“Yeah, I just, I still can’t believe he beat me to it”

“Oh he didn’t, they are not even dating, don’t think you can bring severus away from his life, but you can certainly become _the_ one for him”

Ah, Typical Lily Evans, Always making you feel terrible yet amazing at the same time with her cheesy yet somehow entirely true comments on… anything, it was scary how clearly she saw things. And what was even scarier, was letting that ugly bastard take Moony away, he was going to do whatever it took to make sure of it… and that apparently was much easier than he had thought. It was true he had always seen him as this impossibly unapproachable perfect boy, and maybe that’s what was blowing things so badly, maybe he was idealizing him and he thought unless there was full moon, he was always calm and in control, but maybe there were a ton of other things bothering him that he just didn’t notice, that would explain why he was so angry a few minutes ago. If that’s how it was, he had to fix things; he had to make it right and fast.


	12. Chapter 12

Well that had probably been the most amazing night in my life, we had done it… several times, I wasn’t really counting, I discovered that for some reason I tend to just go into some sort of pleasure induced comatose state of self, and I forget everything surrounding me. And Merlin, I couldn’t believe I had been the one leaving all those marks on Severus, that the Slytherin insisted on keeping, I had gotten rid of mine, as usual, it isn’t really so much about them being hickeys as it is about how uncomfortable it makes me when people stare at me, especially if it’s about wounds, scars or the like. Severus didn’t seem to mind, but then again I just knew he was happy with me letting him be able to show off his own marks, he was a Slytherin after all.

But as mind-blowing as that had been, what I had loved the most about it was sleeping in the same bed as him, looking at the stars , we had done that before but this time, instead of staying silent we spent a couple of hours just… talking. Talking about the stars, about astrology about… the moon, I had the feeling he was probably sounding stupidly cheesy a couple of times, but Severus wasn’t far behind from his level of cheese. It was lovely, I never thought I could have those kinds of conversations, I got to know a lot about him, and he did about me too, now what I learned about him wasn’t very pretty but it did make me see him with different eyes, it explained why he could be so insecure about certain things, yet, always try to ignore all that and throwing some death glares so no one would look further inside, why he was surprised I thought he was good looking, yet he wasn’t surprised I liked him, All this little amazing things about him that just… unfolded in front of me, I was certain at that moment, this was as close to love as it gets.

~*~

That morning in breakfast, I got an owl, It was a nicely folded paper, looking in closer inspection, there was a message in bright blue letters, the message read:

<<To make this map reveal its secret, you must say the right word>>

“Huh…”

“What’s that?” James leaned in close to look at the message “Woah, cool, do you think it’s a riddle?”

I nodded “Most likely, what do you think Padfoot?” I turned to him, trying to hide that grin on my face, those two were so obviously aware of what this was about, in fact they were probably the minds behind it, maybe they got Wormtail’s help too, even tho lately they weren’t talking much, Sirius was arguing with him a lot, and the pollen was making Pete less able to take it.

“Uh? I guess? What does it say?”

“To make this map reveal its secret, you must say the right word”

“uh, map?” he guessed

I shook my head and chuckled, pointing my wand at it ‘right’ ”

Well that seemed to work, the lines started to appear, again, in bright blue, it was a beautiful color.  As the map ‘revealed its secrets’, I noticed it was Hogwarts, well that was underwhelming, I already had one of those… Huh, there was a path on it, it was somewhat glowing and there was an inscription next to it, the path lead from the great hall to the kitchens.

<<You have the opportunity of finding something you didn’t know you needed so badly, the path will be long and difficult, and there will be many hidden truths, only you can find the solution>>

“Huh…” I probably couldn’t hide my smirk at that, I wasn’t sure about what this two were trying to do but I guessed I should just play along, this sounded like fun.

“Shouldn’t we go with you? I mean it could be dangerous”

James frowned awkwardly and im pretty sure Sirius punched him in the stomach

“Oh? You think so? I mean, whoever made this was probably expecting me to do this alone and who knows what consequences it could have to be more than what was intended, besides, how dangerous can it be? The map only shows hogwarts”

I noticed the other two’s relief, they were such terrible actors. “Um, ok ill probably start in a couple of hours, I don’t want to bother the elves right now, they are probably tired because they were preparing our food”

Sirius was looking particularly smug. Did he know I was going to say that? Maybe they hadn’t finished the route I was supposed to follow and decided to start in the kitchens for that reason. That was kind of sweet, that he had noticed that.

~*~

A couple of hours later I went to the kitchens, I spent most of that day going up and down and all over the school, the route was mercilessly twisted and unless I stood right on the spot the map showed and said the exact word to it, it wouldn’t show me where to go next. Sometimes it would give me the word, sometimes the location, sometimes none, and there was always some sort of riddle, some were easier than others but I was getting exhausted and they only seemed to be getting more difficult, what had this two gotten me into?

I had also had to use some spells, it was fun, but conjuring was also getting tiring after the first hour and a half, and then, the whole route went indigo and started to glow even brighter, so I was close? The final inscription read

<<You have done an amazing job, now its time for you to go to your favorite place and claim what is rightfully yours >>

 

So this was one of those who wouldn’t tell me the location, that meant either when I got there the word would appear or it wouldn’t and I had to figure it out as well, there was probably something I was going to have to figure out if it was the last test.

So my favourite place? How could this person know that? Not even I knew where my favourite place was. I  thought it was probably somewhere where I could see the sky, I first thought about my window in severus’ and mine room, but they couldn’t enter there, then I thought they probably got it all wrong and said the library? But they couldn’t do anything on the library.

Maybe the astronomy tower? It would make sense, it was a beautiful place, I don’t know if my favorite but definetly a nice one, I just wished it wouldn’t be so plain and dark inside, it made the sky seem further away, well, I should try then.

When I went up to the place, I noticed an inscription in the door in the same blue letters.

<<You take my breath away>>

I probably blushed badly at that, that inscription appeared in the map aswell and I wondered how many people had seen it.

It was a clue, no doubt about that, ‘you take my breath away’ Then it probably had something to do with breathing? Well If it couldn’t breathe which spell should I use on it?

Oh. “anapneo!” I said, pointing at the keyhole. I heard a click, so it was unlocked now.

It seemed as tho they had read my mind about the astronomy tower because now there were flowers crawling all over the walls and on the roof, They were flowers of darkness, they absorbed the light instantly, It was a beautiful spectacle, you could see them swallow the light that came from the door and from the map. I closed the door and saw as the Blue and indigo light spilled all around the place, It was really beautiful. I looked at the room and found a black velvet box floating in the middle of it. I reached to grab it but a protection camp lightened up, once again, the flowers swallowed the light, I could see this all day, definitely now it was my favorite place.

Well the spell to break that campus was very advanced. There was no way a sixth year old student could cast it.

Unles that sixth year old student was me, I had never been particularly good at school, I just put effort to it, but when it came  to spellcasting, I was naturally good at it. Eventually, I decided to practice more advanced spells. I never talked about which spells I knew so they were probably just guessing I knew this one. I got rid of that protective charm and grabbed the velvet box.

I was shivering when I opened it. I… was not expecting that. A golden clock, that was underwhelming, I opened it.

I was pretty sure my heart had skipped a bit. It had a moon calendar, a regular occidental calendar, the precise time and  a small sphere on it, if I was not mistaken, it was a rememberbrall. I realized two things. One, that clock was probably terribly expensive, two, It was terribly usefull, and three, It was covered in healing and peace of mind runes, this was custom made. I turned the clock to see if it had some inscription, as custom clocks usually do.

Well… I did not expect that…

Which one of the two had got this? It was clear that james and Sirius knew, so either it was one of them that liked me, and the other was helping, or the two were helping someone else. I remembered what Severus had said, both were just as likely.

I looked at the map again, the route was still glowing, as its light kept being sucked “Don’t you have another clue for me? Is this It, I just found it and that’s all?”

I sighed and folded the map back to the way it was and that was wen I noticed

“You little bastard!” As I had folded the map The lines kept glowing, they had formed a perfect star in them.

Oh, Severus Is probably going to give me hell for this, he was right, Merlin, he was right.

Sirius is the name of the shiniest star obserbable from earth, he had chose that twisted road so he could leave his name on the damn map.

“Very impressive, Black” I smiled and put the clock back in its box and the box in my pocket, then I looked at the map again “What am I supposed to say here now?” I thought about it for a second

“Mischief Managed?” I smiled as the glow and the lines disappeared, this time leaving behind only a blank paper.


	13. Chapter 13

“I told you so!” Said Severus for the ninth time

“Yeah you made that clear”

“Can I see that thing again?”

I nodded and handed the clock to him, he was surprisingly upbeat, probably being right helped counter act the fact that now he had a competitor.

“And what are you planning on telling him?” He said as he observed it meticulously

“Um… I don’t know… You have to admit it’s a terribly impressive way to ask someone out”

“Indeed, Im surprised he could do all that”

“That doesn’t surprise me, I had already seen him done similar things, and james was helping him, james loves riddles.”

“then why are you impressed?”

“Because this is Sirius we are talking about, I cant believe he noticed all those little details”

“He probably had help”

“You think lily told him some things? I don’t doubt it, but there are some things I never talk about to anyone, not even her, like the fact that I love to look at the stars but I hate how cold and plain the astronomy tower is, Well no one other than you but I really don’t think you helped him with this” I chuckled “I wonder where he got those flowers from…”

He shrugged “ask him”

“I will”

“Right after you tell him yes”

“What?”

“That’s what you are going to say isn’t it?”

“I… I don’t know… I mean…”

“give him a chance, what’s the worse thing that could happen?”

“Um… It going incredibly wrong and splitting the marauders?”

“I don’t think you would get splitted, and if it goes wrong, it will be right here” he gave em a smile and pulled me to an embrace “You will always have my shoulder to cry on, that is what we had agreed upon”

“And Lily?”

“I don’t think it would bother her” he frowned

“Did something happen?”

“I told her I loved her. She pretended she didn’t get what I meant”

“Oh, damn, im so sorry” I kissed him “she doesn’t know what she is missing”

“Well I already figured she wouldn’t reciprocate, It’s just bitter to get rid of that doubt”

I smiled and kept kissing him softly “Then why were you in such a good mood a few seconds ago?”

“Because im not a little boy, I’ll be fine, and im happy for you”

“And because you were right”

“that too” he smiled

“Why do you want me to say yes anyways?”

“Because he is clearly honest about this and because you two are stuck in each other’s head. Now think about it this way. If it’s not going to work then I wouldn’t want to delay it, the sooner you get together, the sooner you will realize it doesn’t work, and the sooner I can go back to having you only for me. If it lasts then I will know I did the right thing because I could have kept you separated from someone you would have been meant to be with. And even then there is a possibility that things will eventually go wrong. Besides, If I encourage you to say yes, Black won’t be able to complain when I continue being close to you.” He grinned

He smiled and kissed him again “I said it before and I’ll sya it again, you Slytherins are scary”

The map lit up again <<Please give me an answer in two days>>

I laughed “Is he going to ignore me for two days just so I can think about it?”

He shrugged “Who knows? Do you want to be with me in the great hall until then?”

I nodded “Good idea.”

He smiled “So we have two days”

“You are really convinced I will say yes aren’t you?”

“Yes, you will give him a chance, you are shocked, I can tell, so you will want to know how much he means it, it’s not as if there was a way to make things non awkward between you and your friends anyways”

“I.. You have a point, but still, im really going to miss this”

His grin grew wider “me too”

I slid my fingers through his hair “then we should probably take advantage of this time”

He nodded and pinned me down on his bed, by now we had completely stopped using severus’ bed for anything sleep related, we hang around in both beds, we had sex in his, and we  slept in mine.

He practically ripped my shirt off as he kissed me all over, he then turned me around and started to kiss my lower back “mmm that tickles”

“I think you have a sweet spot here” he said licking my spine, yep, definitely had a sweet spot there.“We have never used this position have we?”

“I can’t bite your neck like this”

“True, but I have enough bite marks, and this perspective is incredible”

I chuckled and rise my bum “Um.. ok, I was kind of hoping I wouldn’t be so passive this time.”

He sat on his knees, pulling me back with him “You were?”

“Y-yeah, I mean, I don’t think I would do a very good job but I sort of feel like you always do all the work”

“Does that bother you?”

“Um… well…” It didn’t, I liked to let Severus take care of me, but I had the feeling he might like that too “It’s only fair…”

“But does it _bother_ you? Listen, if you genuinely want to I have no problem with it, but I’m happy with how we’ve been doing it so far”

“You are?”

“Definitely, you don’t notice the noises and faces you make but they are my favorite part, to know that you get like that simply from me playing with you”

A small moan escaped me as I rolled my hips “Oh, ok then, I like to let you take control, I just thought it might get tiring for you”

“Trust me; I couldn’t get tired of this”

I smiled and did that spell I had made Severus teach me to get rid of my clothes.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends, this is where i left at, i have to finish chapter fifteen and afterwards i am going to write ch 16 which is a fast forward to the first time Sirius and Remus do the do. I am planning on writing a series of 'epilogues' to close up the story a little more, this work is really beta so if you helped me to edit it, it would be lovely and you could help me greatly to finish it sooner

Sirius was walking towards the special rooms, he had gotten the password from Lily. It was one day till deadline, but this was a trick he used often, give a deadline that was longer than it needed to be and show up asking for an answer the day before, it made it look as if the intrigue was killing him, and for the first time, it actually was.

He asked for directions to Remus’ bedroom.

The door was slightly open, so he just got in, mumbling a small “Hello?”

When he entered the room he saw a mess of sheets and covers covering a round blob that was lying on the bed. He noticed the long black hair, and it took him a minute to realize Remus was there too, that was why the figure on the sheets looked strange, he hadn’t noticed because his head was under the covers.

Suddenly, the blob under the covers started to move slightly, he heard a whiny moan that unmistakably came from Remus. He thought about running away but he realized he would probably be noticed if he tried to escape, so instead he performed an invisibility spell on himself and rest his back against the wall.

Lupin moaned again and his arms stratched up to hold Snape’s neck

“mmm, good afternoon”

The other wizard woke up slowly and pulled him close, sleepily mumbling “afternoon”

Remus smiled and kissed him softly on the lips, rolling to be on top of him

“Sleep well?”

He nodded “You?”

“I did, dreaming about you”

Remus giggled and stretched his back, and dear god wasn’t it the sexiest thing Sirius had ever seen. “I don’t believe you”

“you do well not to” he smiled “but in this particular occasion im not lying” he rolled to the side

“what did you dream about?”

“you broke up with black and were crying rivers”

He arched his eyebrows “must have been a signal!”

The oother laughed “Right, have you thought about what youa re going to sya, or are you still being hesitant for no reason?”

“I am _not_ being hesitant for no reason!”

“Oh please, we all know you are going to say yes, you know it, I know it, Lily knows it, probably Black knows it too.”

He just sighed and crossed his arms

“why would you even say no?” wait, snivellus was _defending_ him???

Remus huffed indignant “Because its different ok? This isn’t just some girl who sent me a letter or a guy who after hating me for years decided he wants to come close to me, we have been friends for _years_!”

“All the more reason to say yes” he reasoned

“No! you don’t get it! Im scared, Usually I don’t expect a lot or get too involved but its different now, and it could backfire spectacularly”

Silence predominated in the room and Severus wrapped the blonde in his arms “That’s because you care, its why you are scared, and why you should say yes, you say you can’t fall in love, yet you react like this now, the way I see it, this is as close as it gets”

The boy buried his face in his neck and held on to him tightly “but-”

“It’s normal to be scared, I told you what would happen if things went wrong didn’t i?”

He nodded “But its going to hurt anyways”

He snarled “Oh please you are Remus Lupin, you go throught one hellish night every 29 days and the aftermath, you have three idiotic friends who do everything they can to get in trouble and you are covered in scars because the headmaster won’t even let you in the forbidden forest, I think you are going to be able to handle a breakup”

He seemed to have calmed down at that and nodded “You forgot the time I spent in  the infirmary on fifth year”

“Right, it was stupid to try and bring it back, im glad they didn’t finish the competition”

“I know, and why did they choose me to get saved for both the first tests?”

“Well I have two theories” He frowned

“Spit them out, they are probably the same as mine”

“Well, either knowing you were a werewolf, you were less likely to die or get seriously injuried than the rest was… or… well”

“If someone had to die…”

He sighed “Dumbledore wouldn’t think that”

“But the other two would”

“Yeah…”

He smiled and kissed his cheek “Don’t worry about it, im used to it”

“You shouldn’t be”

“There are a lot of things I shouldn’t be, but there is no helping it, feeling bad wond do anything” he gave him a reassuring smile.

Sirius’ eyes were wet, he had never considered that, but it was true, he wondered how Remus was able to stand it, he really wished he could just fix it somehow, that reassuring smile was torture, because it didn’t manage to hide the pain behind it.

It seemed to be having the same effect on Snape, because his expression hadn’t changed. Remus pulled him to a kiss that the other lazily answered “Aw come on, don’t be like that, I thought we were going to be taking advantage of our time together”

He arched an eyebrow

“I know” he looked down “Im still really sore”

“You insisted” his lips curled

“I did” he looked away “Still…”

The other pulled him to a hungry kiss, that the other answered with a moan, rolling on top of him again and fisting his hair.

Sirius snarled, how could Remus be able to do all this things to that ugly fuck?

“mmm damn” he started to roll his hips but then stopped “Wait, the door”

The other nodded and reached for his wand “I should probably redo the silencing charm”

“Yeah”

He did so, Sirius thought he was going to make a charm around the bed, but instead he charmed the walls and the door.

“heh, its weird to be doing this things in my bed”

“I was thinking about that aswell, should I cover the window?”

He shook his head and grabbed his wand, casting a pair of blue curtains “The natural light is nice”

The other was just looking at him

“What?”

“I love the way you look in this light”

Sirius loved it aswell, his skin looked paler, the scars looked darker and his hair, oh merlin his hair, he wanted to run his fingers though it, and now he was arching his back again, fuck. He was definitely hard.

Remus smiled and pounced him, starting to roll his hips again “maybe if I…”

Snape nodded as they both moved his hands to their cocks, intertwining his fingers “mmn, wait I should” he moved forward, Snape was longer than him and if he bucked from that position he wouldn’t get to the tip.

A small groan escaped Severus and he pulled him closer to bite his shoulder. Remus whined

“you are always so silent!”

“Does it bother you?”

“mmn, hell yeah it does, I probably look like an idiot if im the only one moaning”

“Well no one is looking and I like to hear you moan, besides you don’t even realize what is going on around you”

“mn- y-yeah but-”

“Silence.” He grabbed his ass with his free hand and that made him let out a strangled moan and stop talking.

This was a side to Remus he had never seen and even tho he couldn’t help to be disgusted at the fact that he was fuckign Snivellus, he couldn’t stop staring at how his back and his hips moved, the sheets were low enough to show his crack, but that was about it,  still, just to look at that and listen to his  moaning was enough to be themsot erotic sight he had ever came across, porn and actual sex be damned, this was Remus Lupin.

Remus was starting to shiver, he could see his ears were red.

“What is wrong?”

Something was wrong? He seemed pretty normal

Remus shook his head “m’cold”

Snape pulled the covers up and wrapped his arms around him “I know that’s not it”

“Don’t wrry about it, really, i.. Ill tell you later”

He tilted his head and then pulled him to a kiss  “Close your eyes, that might help”

He nodded and buried his face on his neck, buring his head on his neck and pressing their chests together.

Snape smiled “That’s more like it- oh, _that’s_ more like it~” Remus had started to bite his neck and move faster.

Well damn, what a sight, Remus was… completely out of it, he looked like he was attacking him, he was moaning and growling  and oh Merlin he looked so hot.

Snape grabbed him by the hair and pulled his hair  to make him arch his back, Remus didn’t stop moving

“You should see your face right now” he licked his lips.

Sirius was tempted to turn to the other side of the room and look.

Remus didn’t answer, he just kept moaning and whining needily until the other let go of his hair and he went back to the position he was in before, attacking his neck again.

There was speculation over the marks Snape wore, some believed he had just inflicted them with a charm, there was no way human teeth could do that, but lupin was no regular human.

Yet all that fucker ws doing was panting, not a single moan had escaped him ad it was infuriating, Sirius was close to moaning, and he was just standing there, trying to ignore his throbbing erection.

A few seconds later, Remus came with a moan, closely followed by Snape.

Remus panted heavily and snape simply caressed his back. He snorted “werewolf” Sirius suppressed the urge to walk over there and punch him in the gut, bur Remus didn’t seem to mind

He laughed “Shut up” he was smiling, it was such a beautiful smile, Sirius had never seen him smile like that, IT seemed so, radiant and honest, he looked so happy.

Snape cupped his cheek and pulled him to a kiss.

The other sighed “are you sure that doesn’t hurt?”

“Who said it didn’t? I just happen to like it nevertheless, Im serious you should see your face”

He rolled his eyes “It’s the pollen”

“Right” he smiled and caressed his hair

“You know… I’ve been wondering…”

“Yes?”

Snape looked at him, it seemed as though he was going to ask him something deep and probably painfull, he paused for a second.

“Am I bigger than Black?”

Remus laughed out loud, Sirius bit back a chuckle, thinking he probably wasn’t.

“Um... for like… two centimeters? He is pretty big too” his face was bright red but he was smiling

Sirius flipped his shit at that, and he couldn’t even make a sound, no way, noooooo way, he probably remembered it smaller, yeah that had to be it.

“Good” he smiled satisfied

“But that really doesn’t matter…”

“Oh I know that, but it’s still good to know”

He grinned “You smug bastard” he kissed his cheek “But really is it naturally like that?”

He wrinkled his forehead and knit his eyebrows “Do you think im the kind of person who would use charms or potions to mess with that?”

“heh, good point” he nuzzled him

“You know, when you are on top of me you get even more agressive”

“but I never-”

“I mean it literally”

“oh, hehe is that so? Well I suppose it has to do with the fact that to wolfs dominance is almost entirely dependant on movement, the wolf who controls the others’ movements is the alpha one”

“Oh, that’s very interesting”

“Is the difference too evident?”

“Not really, The only difference is how much you tear my neck and you growl moar, oh and theres also you eyes”

“My eyes?”

“Oh, your pupils dilate until they are bigger than your irises, when you are on top of me the entirety of your eyes goes black”

“What? Really?” he seemed a bit ashamed of that

“Don’t worry, you look hot”

“I probably look like like a freak”

“That makes two of us!” he joked and cupped his cheek“Don’t worry, it really looks great, and what is wrong with being strange anyways? At least youa re not plain and normal”

“oh id be really happy being plain and normal, thank you very much”

He sighed “You know that is not what I meant”

“I do its just…”

“Would you sleep with someone who is unaware of your lycanthropy?”

“Huh?”

“Answer me” he said calmly

“I.. no, I wouldn’t but-”

“Well im sure that if you are with someone that is ok with your lycanthropy they aren’t going to mind dark eyes and a couple of bites” he kissed him

“Its not that I just… no one is going to be able to look at me in the eyes while.. because those aren’t my eyes and…”

Oh, that’s what it was about “Those _are_ your eyes, and they are sexy eyes” he smiled “and im looking at your eyes now, isn’t that enough?”

“Ugh, its really irritating how you are always right” he smiled and rest his head on his shoulder.

His stomach growled.

“Haha, hungry?”

“I think we skipped lunch”

“Do you want me to go get you something to eat?”

“Um.. ok… just leftovers, please, don’t make them cook again.”

“They will do it no matter what I tell them!”

He huffed “fine then tell them to do something simple, some sandwiches or something”

He nodded and got out of the bed, fuck, he really was bigger than him, he grabbed his wand to clean the semen from himself, the sheets and remus  and he started to get dressed. Remus gave him a catcall when he turned over and he laughed.

A minute later, he was off to the kitchens, both of them were laughing.

Remus lais back down on the bed with a happy sigh.

“You are such a creep”

What?

“Sirius, please, I know you are there” he was blushing slightly

Sirius casted finite incantatem on himself, after making sure his boner wasn’t evident.

“How did you know it was me?”

“Because I could hear you breathe and I know your smell”

“oh.. fuck”

“I can also tell when you are aroused” he smirked

“fuckk” he blushed

He grinned “Did you have any reason to come here besides spying on us? Were you trying to pull that ‘a day before’ trick?”

“H-huh?”

“Oh Padfoot, please, did you think I wouldn’t notice how often you do that, I can remember at least five people you used it with”

“Oh”

“You heard our onversation, but you are still going to have to wait till tomorrow for your answer”

He nodded, staring at the ground “Why was he defending me though? I mean, wouldn’t he be the most interested person in you not picking me? I think he is up to-”

“He is not up to anything” he sighed “He has his reasons, he told me about them, he is actually a really nice guy, you should pay more attention to your intensions and less to his”

He sighed “But I got it all cleared out”

“You do?”

“Yes Moony Im serious about this, I bought that clock years ago, this isn’t something I just sort of decided a couple of days ago, I’ve liked you for a while”

He smiled and blushed “Good then… You should probably go, Severus could come back at any time”

He huffed and walked towards the door “Just so you know, you don’t have to be scared, I will take care of you, I could never hurt you, I promise” 


	15. Chapter 15

Hey guys, If anyone is still following this piece of crap that is, I will be rewriting it soon, I'm going to give it an ending first, since i tend to never finish things, i need to get writing some more, it's kind of embarrassing, how little i've actually written, and summer vacations are about to start, so I will have more time for it.


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